Me: So, you wanted to talk?
Other Me: Well, not particularly..’coz I almost always talk non-stop whether you like it or not!
Me: Hmph. You can say that again.
OM: Well, not particularly..’coz I almost always..
Me: THAT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH, YOU ASS!
OM: Heh. Like I didn’t know. Ok, so let’s get to the point. But before that – what’s this new disgusting habit of putting up our ‘conversations’ out in the open? Ever heard of alter-ego self privileges?
Me: I’m trying to inculcate some manners into you. I’m hoping the thought of public embarassment would knock some sense into that fluff-filled brain of yours.
OM: You know, one would imagine so. But let me tell you, public embarassment never quite had an effect on me.
Me: Well, we’ll just have to see that, won’t we? Now, what did you want to talk about? I’m a busy person, get it out with soon, will ya?
OM: You remember how you had to write some landmark post on your blog? And you didn’t find any ideas? And how I totally wrote it for you?
Me: Hold just one moment! I agree I was out of ideas, but you did not write it for me – you just gave me an idea and I did the whole thing myself.
OM: Whatever. So like I was saying, I wrote it for you.. ah ah, don’t say anything and listen to me or this could take another 20 years. You owed me one on that. I wanted to talk about what you’d give me.
Me: Ok, I’m in a good mood so lemme humor you for a bit. I know I’ll regret saying this in about 4 seconds, but what do you want?
OM: I want to be dominant for a day.
Me: WHAT THE..?
OM: Watch it! Remember, no swearing on the blog? The turmeric and the coconuts? Remember?
Me: Ok! Ok! I have to calm down. It’s not like you mean it. ~brief pause~ Right? Please tell me you’re kidding! Please!
OM: I was not kidding.
Me: Was too.
OM: Was too not.
Me: You mean you weren’t.
OM: Really? You wanna play this game now? Now? I’m in, if you are, chum.
Me: Listen, you can’t be serious about this can you? Dominant? You? For an entire day? O dear God!
OM: HEY! It’s not that bad. Try me. You won’t regret it.
Me: You mean I won’t live to regret it. So, what will happen if I say no?
OM: Hmmm. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. If you say no, then I’ll have to talk to the others and probably plan a rebellion of sorts and take over your life after a bloody coup. And rule for life. You can kiss your sorry life goodbye then.
Me: ~nervous laugh~ Now you’re kidding, right?
OM: O you wish, sweetheart. You wish.
Me: But tell me something. Why would you want to be dominant? I mean, the prospect of all perks with none of the responsibilities seems pretty convenient to me, so why would you want a change now?
OM: That’s exactly the point. I want a change. Mujhe change chahiye!
Me: Saying it in Hindi doesn’t make it any better, you senseless git! Nope, can’t do. You can’t be dominant. You’ll just ruin me completely. If I wanted to kill myself I’ll eat sleeping pills, thank you very much. Dominant, it seems. In your dreams, buster!
OM: ~deep sigh~ Why do you always make things so difficult for yourself, hmmm? Ok, let me make you a deal. How about I’ll be dominant only on your blog? Your life isn’t that great a deal anyway. What say?
Me: My blog? Why? Why why why? What did I do to you?! Why are you torturing me like this? Can’t a poor girl have her own blog without having to fight the injustice perpetrated by traitors like you?! Why?! Dear God, why?!!
OM: ~cough~ Drama queen ~cough~
Me: Ok, I’ll agree if you make that ‘one post’ instead of ‘one day’. You can write a guest column. But that’s it. Deal?
OM: ~evil grin~ Oh sure! Just the one post. Deal.
And thus one made a deal with oneself to dig one’s own grave and be buried 6 feet under, for all eternity. Good luck with guessing who’s the “one” and who’s the “oneself”. I’m going into hiding after the next post on this blog. There’s no internet and blogging in Timbuktoo, right?