A for Apple, B for Burn, C for Candle, D for Dunce, E for Email, F for Forward (this is my longest title ever. I think.)

If you thought an apple a day keeps the doctor away, well, apparently you thought wrong! Now I’m not the one who puts up forwarded posts on the blog, but I just couldn’t pass up on this one – reproduced verbatim (with pictures) from the email I received.

Be Careful while eating apples

Pls don’t eat the skin of the apple becoz it’s coated with wax

Plz Plz Plz … Dont spoil ur body Please, I beg ur pardon.

Check before you eat many of the fruits.

WAX is being used as preservation Purposes and then cold stored.

You might be surprised especially apples from USA and other parts are more than one year old, though it would look fresh. Becox wax is coated preventing bacteria to enter. So it does not get dry.

  Please Eat Apples after taking the wax as demonstrated below.Please follow this and send it to 100 people so that after your death, you will be welcomed by candle lights.

 If you disobey , even if u believe or not, you will be burn with candles. As we cannot bear that heat in our body, please forward it to 100 or more. This is real one.

apple.jpg

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Now, in all honesty, I don’t know if this is a hoax or not.  They could really be using wax on apples to keep them fresh, I wouldn’t know!

But the reason I’m laughing uncontrollably everytime I read this is the desperation in the person’s tone when he/she doesn’t want us eating apples with wax on it! And the concern? Oh my God, the concern – ‘Dont spoil your body Please, I beg ur pardon.‘!

If you send it to 100 people, you will apparently be welcomed by candle lights after you die! And guess what? I’ve posted it on my blog! I think I should be gettin’ some fireworks and not just candles, eh? That would be nice.

And the next big thing: if you don’t send it, you will be burned with candles. Now if you’re the kind who doesn’t know what ‘burning’ means, explanation is right at hand – ‘As we cannot bear that heat in our body‘! Goshdarnit, how come I didn’t realize that! Man, what a genius!

Finally, the clincher: ‘This is real one‘. Reminds me of another clincher: ‘Yellow yellow dirty fellow, White white Orbit white. It does not rhyme, but it is a true’.

Yep, absolutely. No more waxed apples for me, no sire! And I’d hate to be burned with candles, so if I have your email ID, rest assured you’ll be hearing from me very very soon.

And, hey, don’t mind the title, I just had a wave of creativity wash over me when I was typing the title. I started with ‘G for’ also, but then there’s no point killing all my readers all at once. Easy does it, what say?

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TOW The Embryos

Script for ‘TOW The Embryos’ (Season 4)

My favorite part:

Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey’s apartment. What name appears on the address label?

Rachel: Chandler gets it! It’s Chandler Bing!

Monica: No!!

Ross: I’m afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong.

Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use you’re head!

Chandler: Actually, it’s Miss Chinandolor Bong.

Drinking problem

Email forward. Pathetic, I know. But it was too good to resist! So here goes…

Author of this piece, whoever you are – Way Cool! 🙂

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife that I had a drinking problem, and to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else. I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I’m not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I’m not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

Say what?

Source: The Hindu, dated 13th April, 2006. Newscape section (that appears at the top of the page)

Found, at last

The police in California recovered a motorcycle 35 years after it was stolen, as it was being shipped to an unsuspecting person in Finland who bought it on online auction eBay. It was a year-old Yamaha 360.