Learning to ride a bicycle – Calvin way!

It’s been more than 2.5 years since I first posted this Calvin n Hobbes piece on this blog and it’s still the most read post (yep, as of today)! Enough reason to re-post it.

Opinions on what this says about my other blog posts will not be entertained in a friendly manner.

bicycle1

bicycle2

Source: Internet (Google search)

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A letter from Santa


Found C n H treasure on the internet. Not going to divulge it to anyone. MUAHAHAHA!!!

Source: Internet (but, ofcourse!)

Note: Don’t ruin your eyesight (or what’s left of it) trying to read from the image – that’s just namesake (uppuku chappani types). All the text in the image is given below. You’re welcome. 😉

A letter from Santa

My hands were all shaky,
My face had gone pale.
A letter from Santa
Just arrived in the mail!

It was hand-written
In old-fashioned ink pen.
It was handsomely printed
And dated twelve ten.

“Dear Calvin,” it said,
“I’m writing because
This year I’ve repealed
My ‘Naughty/Nice’ laws.”

“So now, I urge you:
Be vulgar and crude!
I LIKE it when children
Are boorish and rude!”

“Burp at the table!
Gargle your peas!
Never say ‘thank you’,
‘you’re welcome’ or ‘please’.”

“Talk back to your mother!
Don’t do as you’re told!
Stick your tongue out
At your dad if he scolds!”

“Drive everyone crazy,
I really don’t care!
Act like a jerk,
Anytime, anywhere!”

“I’m changing the rules!
The BAD girls and boys
Will be, from now on,
The ones who get toys!”

“Good little kids make
Me sick, it’s no joke.
Sincerely, signed Santa.”.
..And then I awoke.

I hate being good
(or trying to fake it).
Six days until Christmas!
I don’t think I’ll make it.

What’s a pronoun?

I couldn’t resist posting this – read it in the newspaper today and it’s been on my mind ever since. Around 5 people have already asked me why I suddenly start laughing. I said ‘Nothing’, but I know they don’t believe me. It’s that look you give when you see a nut.

calvin_pronoun

Like I said, I saw this in the paper today (The Hindu, Metro Plus supplement) and I first thought of just putting the dialogues without the image. Then I thought I’d try my luck with Google – searched for ‘Calvin pronoun’ and this was the third search result. I think Google can read minds.

One click led to another and I found a treasure trove of such strips!! So…

gymclass

Say hello to Moe everyone – this is his first time on my blog. Moe is the prototypical bully character in Calvin & Hobbes, “a six-year-old who shaves” who is always shoving Calvin against walls, demanding his lunch money and calling him “Twinky”. Moe is the only regular character who speaks in an unusual font: his (frequently monosyllabic) dialogue is shown in crude, lower-case letters. Watterson describes Moe as “every jerk I’ve ever known”. (Source: Wikipedia )

I like the name ‘Twinky’ – LOL!

toaster

Now where did that bread go after all?! Weird!

Image Source: Internet

Floods

flood-s

I flooded my apartment today. Seriously. I’m not kidding. There was toe-deep water in the hall, the dining hall, the guest bedroom and the entrance of the master bedroom. My cleaning lady had left already so guess who did the water works? Yours truly, ofcourse. 😦

If you’d care to listen, let me tell you how it happened –

Saturday, in my home, is the day of the washing machine. I have a fully automatic, front loading washing machine (white color, if you must ask) – seems it was bought to make my work easier. Yeah right.

I put all the clothes inside the machine. Next, I plugged in the washing machine. I then connected the inlet pipe to the tap (we do not have a permanent connection for the inlet) and turned the tap on – water will start gushing into the machine the moment I turn it on. Now, this is where you should pay attention, ‘coz apparently, I did not. The outlet pipe has to be at a height of atleast 2 ft from the level of the washing machine, so I generally place it inside the wash basin. Generally I do. Today I did not. I went ahead and added the washing powder (Surf Excelmatic – stop asking irrelevant questions! Oh wait, this is totally relevant – wait and see) and set the appropriate wash cycle. I switched the machine on and hit the ‘Start’ button. And I went into the kitchen to check on the cauliflower curry.

Time elapsed: 3 minutes. By now, I should have heard the rumble of the clothes tumble. I did not and I didn’t notice it either. Stirred the curry and decided to see whats on TV – enter dining hall and I heard something synchronous with my steps – splat splat..spl-aa-t! Water water everywhere and no, you wouldn’t want to drink it. Since the outlet was still on the floor, all the water entering the washing machine simply went out the outlet! Rushed to the washing machine (almost falling in the process) and switched it off, realized the outlet pipe issue and yanked it from behind the machine and pushed it into the wash basin! Phew! Close!

It wasn’t close. It was way beyond close. I walked into the guest bedroom and saw that the water had reached the corner diagonally opposite to the door – which means the entire room was flooded. Not just any water mind you – Surf Excelmatic water! The one where all you have to do is place your foot lightly and let you body go – and see yourself win the figure skating championship at the Torino Winter Olympics. It was not as bad in the hall – just one long strip from the main door till the dining hall entrance. The dining hall itself was half flooded. Thankfully, my teak-wood dining table was spared.

After cursing myself and the washing machine with some choicest expletives, I spent the better part of 2 hours in flood relief measures.

And I almost burnt the cauliflower curry – hey, hold your horses, I said almost! I had the best lunch ever – there’s no better accompaniment to food than hunger.