Training trained

I don’t know what it is about training programs that gives me blog ideas! I was there in that training room for 2 hours and I had a million ideas zooming around in my head, waiting to be captured into writing. I think it’s just the environment you know – people all around, seated, not moving, visible targets for a full onslaught of judgemental eyes and the droning voice of the trainer? Oh, that’s just icing on the proverbial cake.

There are some things in life that never change. When you put women together into a room for a discussion or a meeting, the first thing that happens is checking out each others clothes. Seriously ladies, we are that vain. And if there’s atleast one other woman in there who’s as heavy or heavier than you (lucky lucky you), well, life suddenly seems extremely great. Doesn’t matter if your inches away from cardiac arrest due to the cholestrol in which your blood flows. Doesn’t matter if it’s been months since you could bend down and not see stars in your head.

Next come hair styles. You’re happy that most of them are the mundane pony tails or hair clips. The one that has the spunky new boy cut probably doesn’t have children and doesn’t take care of her family since she’s had so much time to get that hair cut. We don’t like her so much, no. And then there are the superwomen. Women who’ve had children and look like that Santoor soap model going ‘College? And me? Hahahaha’. You’d think a kid would come running into the room that very minute yelling ‘Mummy!!’. Seriously, all you match-stick ladies, how the heck do you do that?! Anorexia?

By the time you’ve made mental notes about every other lady in the room, the trainer has started giving an introduction. I think these trainers have an unsaid dress code. Especially the ladies. They all wear the same elbow length sleeved, high collared, ethnic prints. Every single one of them I’ve seen till now. What’s that all about, huh?

Come break time, it’s the usual chatter. Oh Hi. I’m so-and-so. Which group are you with? Smile smile. Nod nod. Stare blankly since you’ve already forgotten what her name was. Turn around in that awkward way only to be met by another stranger and it’s the same story again. If nothing else, there’s always traffic and the weather to yap about. And sometimes you might bump into someone you knew already and then it’s fun in a way – you end up running through the entire list of your ex-colleagues who’ve moved out or who had babies or who just..you know, you have no clue where they are! And before you know it, break time’s up, the coffee’s gone cold after just the one sip you took and the trainer is back where she belongs.

After 2 hours of incessant talking from the trainer’s side and some sleep-induced brain haemorrhage from our side, it ends.  You turn around and check if the person next to you is awake. You realize the other person also turned around intending to do the exact same thing. Smile smile. Sighs of relief. Push chairs back, get bag and run out before anyone changes their mind and calls for ‘one last question’.

So ends another training session. Like I said, some things in life never change.

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7 thoughts on “Training trained

  1. he he. so totally agree with u. training sessions and the dance of the eyelids. training sessions and the observations. btw, its the same for boring meetings too. 🙂

    🙂 yeah, but meetings are shorter. Trainings are such long affairs, so it’s a bit different 😉

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  2. Training sessions are held inorder to remind all you office-going people, that there are poor little school and college children who suffer the same plight for eight hours every single day (INCLUDING SATURDAY) 😐

    you poor thing! 😦

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  3. By the time you’ve made mental notes about every other lady in the room, the trainer has started giving an introduction.

    You finish that task within such a short time? Well, we men don’t like to make hasty generalisations 😉

    Oh, but we do! 🙂 one glance and we know one’s entire past and present and can predict one’s future pretty accurately too! 😉

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