Yep, that’s right – I’m going to retire. No more working my backside off, no more doing any work for that matter. Me is going to get meself some butlers and housekeepers and cool gadgets that will make my already easy life even more easier.
Have I gone crazy? No.
Did the Queen of England, like, leave me all her fortune and make me the next Queen? Nope. (I wish it would happen though. The crown jewels, not Prince William.)
Did I win a lottery? Heck, yeah!
Want the details? (See, that’s a redundant question – whether you want it or not, you’re so gonna get it anyway!) Here goes –
We are pleased to inform you today of the result of the winners of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY ONLINE PROMO PROGRAMME, held today .
You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of £1,000,000(One Million British pounds sterlings) in cash credited to file YL/26510460037/06.
To file for your claim, please contact our claims agent;
Dr. Pinkett Griffin
Provide him with the information below:
8.Country Of Residence:
Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this program.
Mrs. Rose Wood
Now, please let me reiterate that this is not a hoax. Why?
– It has 3 sets of numbers that make no sense whatsover. Ergo, they must be valid.
– They quote my file number. Again, it’s a complex looking thing with slashes and codes and numbers. So it’s perfectly valid.
– It’s not from Zambia. We all know what those Zambian emails are all about, don’t we? This is UK. The Queen lives there, ya know. (Will you forget about William already!!)
– They’re not asking my bank account number or SSN or any such important details. So they must be pretty decent people, and cheating me is the last thing on their mind.
– I see a telephone number. Fake people don’t have telephone numbers.
– The email is signed Mrs.Rose Wood. Rose Wood is a nice name. Now if it were signed Mrs.Teak Wood, I should be very suspicious. But no, it’s Rose. Like in the Titanic. And Wood, like in Harry Potter’s first Quidditch captain, Oliver Wood.
So while I go make a long distance call and become rich, please to feel jealous/envious of me and my good fortune.