On love

I wrote the following around a year back. I don’t remember what made me write it, but I do sense an undercurrent of frustration (no surprises there!). Maybe the next time I write something out of frutration, I should document the circumstances too!

Nothing new to blog about, so I thoughtΒ now would be a good time to go into flashback modeΒ and make you suffer some of my earlier posts. You’re welcome!

Looking for love? Or, more precisely, looking for someone to love you? Not found one, yet? Still searching patiently?

No, I’m not starting a dating agency or a marriage bureau. That is not the way to find love, anyway. You can find people, but not love. Two different things.

For all of us who think love can be searched for and found: please think again. When you say you search for love, don’t you realize you’re accepting the fact that you lost it? If you lost it, doesn’t that mean you had it at one point? If you already had it and lost it, what makes you think you’re going to find it now and keep it? If you know how to keep it, then why did you lose it to begin with? Ok, so you lost it, learnt a lesson and now you know how to keep it? But how will one lesson learnt apply to all future prospects of love? Unless ofcourse you intend to love the same person(s) again. Confusing? No? Good. Read on.

You could contradict me saying searching for love doesn’t mean I lost it, maybe I’m searching for the first time! Then how, please, would you know when you find it? Do you even know what you’re looking for? If you do know what love is, if you do know it is love when you find it, then doesn’t that naturally mean you’ve known it before? And so, since you’re looking for it now, doesn’t that mean you lost it previously? Which brings us back to lost love.

Point I’m trying to make? Don’t go around telling the world you’re looking for love. You don’t find love, love will find you if you give it a chance. Love will enter your heart if your heart is capable of loving. Only one who knows to love can know love.

Know that, just like God, love will not enter a dark heart. Love will not enter an unclean heart. You have to love to receive love.

If you’re all riled up and ready to burn down the comment box (because I have a feeling this piece is not one of my timid ones), please count from 100 to 1. In Hindi. And when you’re done, read some of my Calvin and Hobbes posts and go home in peace. Thank you!


23 thoughts on “On love

  1. Shantanu – really? πŸ™‚ thx!

    Me – good good, keep it going. but I said count in Hindi..not english.. so you should be saying ‘ek do teen..’

    Amey – sarcasm eh? πŸ™‚

    Princess – yes yes yes! atleast one person noticed!! it’s snowing on my blog (till Jan 2nd, courtesy WordPress).. and yes, please feel free to be inspired by my mumbo-jumbo..I’d be much pleased. (If I dont use ‘please’ 400 times by end of day today, something terrible will happen to the world it seems) πŸ™‚


  2. all of us know love since the time we were born. πŸ™‚

    “Don’t go around telling the world you’re looking for love. You don’t find love, love will find you if you give it a chance. Love will enter your heart if your heart is capable of loving. Only one who knows to love can know love.” – completely agree.

    great post! πŸ™‚

    btw, enjoyed the snowfall. what did you do to bring it on?


  3. The snowfall is a setting in WordPress. Available till Jan 2nd. Check the news bit when you login to the Dashboard – Let it Snow or something like that. It tells you how πŸ™‚


  4. thanks for wonderful post. ..great one-liners…

    “There are some things which you cant search…for everything else there is GOOGLE!” πŸ˜€

    I couldnt resist to ask if the blog owner did find love πŸ˜‰

    PS: Post is two years old.


  5. Amey – why else did you think I suggested Hindi? I personally find it tough coz Madhuri Dixit only taught me till 13 πŸ˜‰

    Jam – hehe, good one on Google. πŸ™‚ and yeah, the blog owner did find love. πŸ™‚ lucky me, no?


  6. Come on, if you listen to the entire song, it goes up to 30 (I am not so sure about 31).

    And given the context of the post, you could also have asked people to recite the song in their heads.


  7. I am looking for a new digital camera. I have never owned one in my life, so there is no question of my having lost it.

    I do, however, have friends that own such cameras. I hear them raving about the great features of their cameras, the nice pictures they take, the joy that their cameras give them.

    I know what I want my camera to be like, based on the stories that my friends tell me.

    Unfortunately, neither in India nor in the US, do we have door-to-door salesman who go around selling cameras. So I have to go to the store to buy one. Sitting at home with my door and wallet open is not going to get me my camera.

    Will I recognize the camera when I see it in the store? Yes, because I have seen it before, even though I have never owned one.

    Will I be able to afford it? That depends – if I have done my research correctly, I know its price; I also know whether it is a price I am willing to pay.



  8. hmmm…
    this is like the bollywood philosopher saying ‘pyar kiya nahi jatha, pyar hota hai’

    but then to many of us…. like dileep reading this poster in CID Moosa…. ‘pyar Ota yo ?’

    love is for losers… the rest of us, we kick ass πŸ™‚


  9. Amey – oh she does? πŸ™‚ me didn’t know!

    BPSK – see, that’s the whole point! It’s not the same as looking for a camera. And if you look for love the way you look for camera, well, just make sure it has a lifetime free warranty ok? πŸ˜‰

    Jam – yeah, it should click. And when you drop it in water, it should stop working too πŸ˜‰

    CK – lol @ Dileep, that guy does some good roles once in a while, no? πŸ™‚ and yeah, when did YOU become rest of us? πŸ˜•


  10. Priya –

    πŸ™‚ Re. “It’s not the same as looking for a camera.” –
    Leaving metaphors aside, the point I am making is: You can see friends/relatives that have obtained love; you can see what they had to do to get it, and what they have to do on a daily basis to keep it; you can see the benefits of it. Therefore, you don’t need to have loved to know it when you find it.

    Re. “make sure it has a lifetime free warranty” –
    Again, my point – there is no lifetime free warranty with it; you have to work to maintain it every single day. So in that sense it is like a very valuable possession, far more valuable than a camera.


  11. 1. I’m not saying you don’t need to have loved to know when you find it – my point was only about the use of the word ‘search’ or ‘look’ – for both these actions you need a good idea of WHAT exactly you’re searching or looking for! See, it’s like one will fall in love with the person in whom one sees everything one would want. One doesn’t step out of home everyday with a list in hand saying I’ve to find the person who matches this criteria – what happens is one takes out the list WHEN or AFTER one meets the person. At least that’s what I think! πŸ™‚

    2. I was bein’ sarcastic about the warranty! πŸ™‚ what I meant by ‘lifetime free’ is a kind of partner who’s willing to work out any issues in the relationship without opting to walk out each time something goes wrong.


  12. Jam – πŸ™‚ ok teacher. No more arguing. πŸ˜‰

    Swathi – thank you! and welcome to TP!

    BPSK – πŸ˜€ yes, white flag, doves and all that stuff! We’ll always find other things to disagree upon πŸ™‚ HNY to you too!


  13. amazing article…very inspiring…i call it out-of-frustration writing though :)….and ya…these are the best kind of articles…hehe…keep up the amazzzzing work!


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