Two sides of a biscuit

Picture this –

It’s 6 PM and you’re at work. And it’s a pretty long day, that ends in the near vicinity of 12 AM. The mid-evening pangs of hunger hit you from nowhere (actually it’s from the brain, but what the heck) and you fancy a quick munch from the 7 types of biscuits placed in the pantry.

(Now, stories from my work pantry often make an appearance on this blog. Please to click on the three links above to get a feel of that little room in the corner where the airconditioning doesn’t always work and the coffee is always crap.)

I have to mention here that of the 7 types of biscuits, only one is cream biscuit. Orange cream. Yes, that bad, I know. There used to be Britannia Bourbon long back, but then I’m digressing. So, here you are, craving a quick bite and standing in front of the biscuit box in the pantry.

Everyone who’s ever looked at a cream biscuit knows there are 2 sides to the story, I mean the biscuit. The ‘cream side’ and the ‘non-cream side’. The biscuit is no fun without the ‘cream side’, right? I mean, it’s as good (or bad?) as any regular Milk Bikki without the cream side!

So what do you see in the aforementioned pantry? Only 6 cream biscuits. Only 6. But that’s not a problem, you know – it’s not like I was going to stuff my face with 6 biscuits anyway. But here’s the real deal – there were only 6 cream biscuitsΒ and all of them withΒ just the ‘non-cream’ side!!!!!! I mean, for the love of God!! I cannot believe someone would actually split all 6 (the only 6, mind you) cream biscuits and take just the cream sides and leave the non-cream sides!

What is this world coming to, I ask you! Isn’t there anymore biscuit etiquette left on this planet?! Like Calvin says, ‘It’s hopeless, Ms.Wormwood’.

What am I going to do now? Time to take my voodoo kit out tonight and see who comes to work tomorrow with a broken arm and two broken teeth.

P.S: I know what you’re thinking. She posts after a week and look what she posts about. But you know what? This is precisely why I maintain this blog – to rant about whatever whenever to whoever. Tough luck, mate.

P.P.S: Surprise of the week for me: Thought Process, for some strange inexplicable reason, is ‘featured blog’ here. Now what are the chances that they mistook me for someone else who actually writes well? It’s always a freakin’ adventure seeing how people reach your blog. Topic for another post, me thinks.

P.P.P.S: Where are my manners?! Thank you, for featuring me and above that, you all, dear readers, for being instrumental in all this featuring business. Can I please have my Oscar statuette and/or Nobel Prize scrollΒ now? Thank you very much.


35 thoughts on “Two sides of a biscuit

  1. Your post reminded me of all the biscuits!! I used to love Bourboune but i dont get it here!
    Congrats on your feat, I mean being the featured blogger…
    Keep writing more and more..


  2. oh you don’t need to apologise, i’ve written posts dedicated to biscuits before. good day biscuits to be specific. i hope u didn’t still eat the non creamy side because like sharanyan said the person probably licked it. and do keep your eye out for this greedy biscuit thief. threaten to expose him to the rest of the office if he doesn’t buy you a dozen packets of your fav biscuit.


  3. Me – Hey! you the ‘Me’ from imse.blogspot eh? if you are, welcome back! if you’re not, who the heck are you? πŸ™‚ and yes, one is more grown up than one is given credit for.. strange, but true

    Priyank – Phew, we have enough of your supposed clones here mate.. dont need more.. whats with the biscuit vandalism, anyway?

    Appu – Many thanks πŸ™‚ if it weren’t for people like you who actually put up with me, I won’t be talkin’ so much.. (there, the secret’s out in the open)


  4. Sharanyan – 😦 unfortunately true.. I hope the sicko didnt actually lick the non-cream sides.. thats just plain gross!

    Priya Iyer – Yes, Priya, they did THAT to me 😦 how mean, no? insensitive dimwits..

    Pri – Biscuits are such gr8 topics, aren’t they? πŸ˜‰ always a pleasure meeting a fellow biscuiteer (yep, my word plays are this bad, excuse me) and no, i didnt eat the non-cream side.. its either cream or no biscuit for me πŸ™‚ I’m thinking of putting up a notice in the pantry asking people not to vandalize the biscuits.. its heights..


  5. πŸ™‚ – I like Seinfeld type humor and this qualifies as one

    PS: btw people who know me will tell you that this is one of the biggest compliments I can give regarding humor.


  6. Oh, taking away the cream! πŸ™‚ Well, I too used to love Bourbon, infact still like it but don’t find it too often these days.

    Congrats on being featured on the top blogs. Hmm… you do write well after all and deserve it!



  7. Come, now… why are you apologizing for being yourself on your own blog… alright it was the opposite of an apology but it was an altogether unnecessary postscript. The first one, I mean πŸ™‚


  8. Arun K – Thank u! πŸ™‚ but hey, thats only as long as I’m Jerry or maybe even Cramer…but not George and definitely not Elaine.. Im not sure I like them πŸ˜‰

    Sathej – TanQ! we all loved Bourbon didnt we? I think some of us like me lost the liking mainly bcoz we had too much of it..

    Prashanth – hey, u’r going to live a 100 yrs.. I made Avial using your mom’s recipe book and I was thinking I should drop by your blog and chk out what you’ve been upto πŸ™‚ and the P.S signifies a deeper thinking – if you had written about biscuits after 1 week of no-posts, I would’ve thought that πŸ˜‰ the judgy me!


  9. First and foremost, Congratulations πŸ™‚ Me is so proud for having known you. (Erm, DO NOT forgot to thank me for reading your blog-posts, when you go there, up the rostrum, to receive ur share of awards 😐 )
    And this is for u πŸ™‚


    I actually love little kids, but i hate all those nasty kids, who wipe the creamy side clean and hand over the gooey gooey yucky saliva filled non-creamy side, out to u, when u baby-sit them 😐


  10. Ideas, suggestions and advice for Biscuit Vandals, in case they are reading their victim’s blog.

    1. Sandwiches – fold into half, eat from center, leave crumbs behind.
    2. Bananas – Make 2 cuts on the skin and remove fruit inside. Then fill with Vazhakkai (Raw Banana) of same size and reassemble skin (after using fevicol to stick it together)
    3. Water bottle – Empty water, fill with Gripe (Omam) water instead. Keep camera ready when victim is near fridge
    4. Jam – Open bottle, pour generous amounts of vinegar. Wait 20 minutes for vinegar to get permeate n the jam. Then drain excess liquid and close lid and place back in fridge
    5. Ketchup – Add rice flour to increase viscosity, and keep video camera ready when victim tries to get the ketchup to pour


  11. Nightmarish.
    My heartfelt sympathies. I share your pain. But you’ll get over it, in time.

    I came over to thank you for the review on the Bartimeous Trilogy. It made a fantastic birthday present for my dad.


  12. Oh the things people do for a small rectangle of dough…

    Remember to grab as many as possible next time. Stashing is good for health πŸ˜‰


  13. As a filler post and comfort food for the blogorrheic patient, this post takes the biscuit. I tried some of the links, but my cookies are not enabled! I need to stop commenting and start workin’, as I am a little short’bread! Next time you wanna eat, don’t wafer anyone, you hear me?


  14. This is the limit !!
    I am calling the ‘biscootman’…… i think we need to catch these criminals right away….

    biscootman… biscootman..
    does the thing, that he best can
    got the tea, ‘n coffee too
    prying hands, caught in the brew
    bhago !!
    aa gaya biscootman

    ok…. this took me quite a bit of today’s productive day. this chappy better be real.


  15. Su – calories? what are they? πŸ˜‰ if you’re talking about numbers that cause guilt, nope, I have no idea what you’re talkin about!

    Me – when blog opening? Mrs.Me stole your password or something? πŸ˜‰

    Nithya – ~takes a bow~ you exaggerate! πŸ™‚ and I rescued your comment from the spam.. thanks for making me drool over my laptop and ruin it (yet again, if I may add).. you baby sit? hehe.. tough luck πŸ˜‰


  16. Krish Ashok – Duuuuuude! don’t give him (Im sure it’s a him..girls are not that yucky..hehe, you’re gonna flame me now, aren’t you?) more ideas ok? I have enough trouble with biscuit vandalism.. btw, ivlo ideas vechindrikkele, practice made perfect aa? πŸ˜‰

    Princess – πŸ™‚ glad you (and your dad?) liked the books.. Stroud is one author I’m glad I stumbled across.. (I generally go by the author rather than by the book)

    Fleiger – Definitely! only thing, everytime I open my desk-drawer, it smells of biscuits.. stale biscuits dont smell very good 😦


  17. Jollyroger – Dark Magic? does it have jam in it? I remember something like that from the supermarket shelf πŸ˜‰ Welcome to the blog n thanks for dropping by!

    Doc – Wah wah! how do you do it, Doc? πŸ™‚ your comments need to be sculpted on those rocks in Tanjore πŸ˜‰

    Rusty N – 😦 rude and pretty gross.. btw, its ok.. my manners has gone for a walk too, hasn’t returned till now.. I’m hoping I dont miss it much πŸ˜‰


  18. I know what you mean. Anything written by David Eddings is bound to be perfect, just as anything written by Tolkien is definitely exquisite. Are you a Tolkein fan? I’ve reviewed one of his lesser known books on Pixie Dust.


  19. Oh yes, read LOTR. Read your review also – added the book to my ever-expanding list of books-to-buy-without-spouse-kicking-me-out-of-house πŸ™‚ I’m looking for L M Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables series.. very few books out there though 😦


  20. Practice made perfectaa?
    I belong to the parambarai of brave pranksters who have slipped valentine cards (into pencil boxes) requesting a clandestine rendezvous between 2 classmates who had closet affections for each other. Back in Class XI. Yeah.

    On the darker side, I have also launched blunt toothpicks dipped in mustard sauce using industrial strength rubber bands at snobbish delhiites wearing white clothes in Nirulas Pizza.


  21. Lol, really hilarious . I can’t come to imagine someone wud dare to do this !! …. Btw aren’t there supposed to be more than 6 biscuits on offer in a company pantry …now I would be surprised it is as a result of the cascading effect of a stronger


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