Once in a while in your hectic life that is worklife, you get sent back into class for ‘trainings’. Long long ago, so long ago, no one knows how long ago, I used to be in college. Where you had to be present before the bell rang, where coming late was the norm for hostel-folks and we (day scholars) were considered geeky nerds (yeah, if geek and nerd by itself wasn’t bad enough) just because we sat in the front bench and came on time. Don’t even get me started on school.
But I digress.
Without divulging a lot of details, I’ll just say that I had a one day training class on a non-technical topic recently. No, you can’t make me say what it was about. I’m just saving you some laughs. Given below are some of the observations I made in my notepad. Instead of listening to the instructor, you ask? No. I wrote these during those awkward silences that happen when the instructor asks a very easy question but no one answers ‘coz everyone’s so sure it’s a trick question because the answer is so insanely simple. Too much education does that to you, ya know.
– You get a wicked pleasure in seeing the latecomers come late. If you had to get up an hour ahead of your usual schedule just to get there on time, it is so totally unfair to have someone coming late. I have absolutely no qualms in judging you. Very critically at that.
– The EQ questionnaires. They have become oh-so-smarty-pants these days. I’ll tell you why. The same question (word for word, mind you) is repeated at least thrice in the course of a 80 question questionnaire. If you’re lying (for no apparent reason ‘coz the answers are known only to you and you alone), you better have a good memory and keep your lying consistent. Else they call your bluff and you end up with what is, indeed, the truth. Which ofcourse is very bitter.
– I went one up on the smarty-pants questionnaire. I went back and checked my answer for the two previous times the same question was asked and kept my answer consistent. Take that, you silly stapled piece o’ questionnaire paper!
– During breaks, if you happen to be some of the few in the room who decided the cafeteria coffee was not exactly worth getting up for, the topic of discussion is almost always the traffic and/or the weather. And trust me, everyone bitches about traffic. And everyone thinks the weather’s way too hot. Even if you’re talking in December, you ultimately end up talking about how bad the summer was! I think they should pass a law that forbids you to discuss weather.
– When the instructor calls out for volunteers to help him/her with something, the first reaction from us is panic. Plain, unadulterated panic. No one makes eye contact with the instructor lest he/she be called. That’s when you remembered something really important that you absolutely had to make a note of and reach for your pen and paper. Or you just act like you were deaf. And look at everyone around you thinking ‘why the heck won’t you people volunteer? I’m deaf, I didnt hear a thing she said’.
These are just things I noticed in one session. But what still amazes me is that even after being out of class for so many years, that vision of someone teaching you still makes you do things that you used to do in school/college, even though it’s completely unnecessary now because now you’re a grown up! You can even walk out of that training room and no one can exactly ask you why. And even if they do, you can lie through your teeth and have them believe you one hundred percent. For, people, such is the life of a grown-up. Even if we don’t volunteer to do something on front of 10 other colleagues. Even if we still take notes on things we know for sure we’ll never need in our life. What if the ‘teacher’ saw me sitting without taking notes?!! Oh dear.