A dog’s life

No, not talking about my own. Well, at least, not in so many words. The daily commute from home to workplace and back takes it’s toll on one’s body and mind. The most affected, ofcourse, is the mind. Why? Because the mind is constantly on overdrive trying to make sense out of the chaotic surroundings (otherwise known as deathly traffic, arising mainly due to neanderthals under the garb of sophistication, behind steering wheels), and bring a semblance of sanity to the entire journey. It’s not easy, I tell you. As if your self-consciousness was not enough, you also have to keep abreast of the latest styles of handbags, footwear, salwars, jeans and tops that the rest of the office is wearing. When best to do that other than on your commute!

After attire-checking-out-ing (I’ve given up on my vocabulary, bear with moi please), the other hugely popular time pass for someone on a commute is a game of Who’s-Got-The-Most-Yucky-Lanyard. It’s simple enough and enormously time-passy. And this can be played in and around any office space that has at least one other human being other than yourself wearing their corporate ID cards on a lanyard. And as a person who has successfully completed a zillion commutes, I’ve seen the best and worst of them all. So much so, I could write a thesis on it. Pity I ‘m not doing anything even close to a post graduation (or just even education!) which would expect a thesis from me.

Well then, getting to the point, there are a million different types of lanyards. Ok, so not a million. But at least 20,000 types exist. From the completely harmless single string hapless looking one to the 5cms wide yellow colored I’m-a-clown-look-at-my-lanyard one – they’re all there! And some poor soul is wearing one right now (and we convey our heartfelt sympathies to him/her) at the risk of looking like a, well, a cross between a clown and a pet. A lovable pet who goes around with a yellow leash around its neck.

It’s not so much the size of the lanyard that matters. It all comes down to the color, IMHO. Honestly, the I-look-like-a-clown lanyard wouldn’t be so gross if it had been, say, white! Where it could just blend into your shirt. Or you could be wearing a black shirt and completely throw my argument out of gear. Ah well. Happens. One wonders why some corporates insist on blinding colors like lemon yellow, Ferrari red, Fanta orange or candy-floss pink! Whatever happened to human rights?! If I were ever made to wear one of those monstrosities, I swear I’ll quit! (Understandably, that’s a blatant exaggeration. I won’t quit. I’ll come right back to this very blog and post my rant and expect you all to leave me sympathetic comments. Just so you know.)

But what sometimes gets my gall is people wearing these things for their mobile phones. I mean, when you have a choice between looking smart and looking like a dumb fool, what would you choose? Honestly! It’s a pain on the eyes, people! It’s a veritable pain on the eyes to see pink, red and yellow colored ribbons hanging around your necks and if this is your idea of cool, then you’re probably living in the wrong century.

The whole thing reminds me of what my aunt says everytime she sees my ID card – ‘Doesn’t it make you feel like a dog?’. Yes Auntie, it sure does. And that’s why it’s safely hidden inside my purse. (I still have the lanyard mind you, otherwise the poor ID card would drown in the deluge of crap that is my purse.) You wouldn’t catch me dead (or alive) wearing it around my neck. I’m not stupid, ya know. At least not as much as you think.

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8 thoughts on “A dog’s life

  1. I think i am the only soul, who goes to college without wearing an ID card :|..I make sure I go to write semester exams with my ID card in hand,the lanyard dangling and swaying to the wind !!
    I hate wearing these lanyards(It’s blue in colour with the name of my college painted on it..Looks pretty ok ๐Ÿ˜› i wuld give a 6 on 10) with ID Cards in them. Makes u feel as tho u r getting strangled by some noose, that’s hanging downwards.
    But there r ppl, who can MAKE u wear these ID cards..Those ppl are called watchmen.The worst part is yet to come. I was made to wear the ID card for the first time in my life, wen i went for an inter-collegiate competition to Sharan’s college ๐Ÿ˜ Sick..Not even my college watchmen (I wonder if there are any watchmen at all !!)ask me to produce my ID card everyday..


  2. er..i guess the dogs are better off…at least they dont have a rectangular thing hanging down…and their lanyards have buckles and are fashionable :P…
    btw sad to hear u have ids at work..lol..more watchmen!!!


  3. Nithya – I’m not as unlucky, we dont have watchmen who force us to wear it. It’s enough if we just display the ID when we enter. So I use it like it were an FBI badge – flash and hide! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Sharan – True! I think I know why we say ‘lucky dog’ instead of any other animal ๐Ÿ˜‰


  4. Your Aunt sure got it right.. i remove my tag once i board d bus i wont put it in the morning till the watch man asks me to do it..now a days am wearin it in my belt its much better than wearing it in neck.. i have seen ppl who wont bother to remove their cards even though they are out of company i think they like showcasing themselves as s/w professional!! but it sure’s worser than a dog’s life!!


  5. awww, come on..
    it’s there for a reason.. so that ur boss doesn’t feel too guilty when he/she asks you to heel, fetch, roll over and play dead.


  6. Venki – ๐Ÿ˜ฆ They say in Tamil, korangaa velaikku sendha, maram eri dhaane aaganum ๐Ÿ˜‰ (I changed the actual thing to suit my needs)

    Harish – aah! Such profound thoughts, Harish! engeyo poite! ๐Ÿ˜‰


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