I (broken_heart) Coffee

I’ve written about this before, but it’s just so horribly frustrating that I’m going to do it again.

The other time it was tea. Now, it’s coffee. There was a time in days of yore that I loved coffee. The smell, the color, the taste! But all that changed with the advent of the omnipresent coffee dispenser in my normal working life.

Picture this: You have a splitting headache, and you have work to do. What’s the first thing you try? Coffee, ofcourse. And what if that coffee is such an abomination that you start to hate the very beverage? Or maybe I should thank my stars that I’m not a coffee addict because of this! Unlike my parents and friends, I don’t need coffee to keep me going. But once in a while, one does miss the golden brown brew.

The problem is not with the coffee per se. It all boils down to the milk (no pun intended). Milk and not milk powder. I don’t know much about the dispenser settings to control just how much milk powder, sugar and coffee flows into one cup, all I know is whatever is there in the cup finally looks a lot like dishwater. If it weren’t for the fact that I do not know what dishwater tastes like, I would’ve loved to say the coffee tastes like dishwater. (And this is to prevent any smart-ass comment on me knowing what dishwater tastes like. Tell the truth, you did think of that, didn’t you? Ha, gotcha!)

To make matters worse, it’s not just the regular coffee. The options on the dispenser are very very misleading, mind you. Let’s take it one by one – first, there’s Cappuccino. Any resemblance to any coffee, good or bad, is purely co-incidental. And I did the greatest mistake of having cappuccino from an authentic little cafe in Rome, after which cappuccino from even Cafe Coffee Day or Qwiky’s or Barista is nothing short of..well, dishwater! So that just made the whole thing even worse. Second comes Mocha. Again, pretty much a big fat brown lie.

The same goes for Hot Chocolate – it looks all nice and chocolatey, but the moment you taste it, well, it transports you approximately 15 years into the past when your Mom had to run behind you with a huge steel tumbler filled with yucky-tasting Complan. And if you’re trying to calculate my age based on this piece of information, give it up – ain’t gonna work, ‘coz I’m totally lying about the 15 years.

The lesser of the evils in the dispenser seems to be ‘Nescafe’. Don’t let the name fool you into thinking it’s the authentic Nescafe that your parents so hate (because they are staunch filter coffee addicts and drinking instant coffee is a sin by itself) and you so love (because you can’t stand the after taste of filter coffee and the color is so much better for instant coffee). Lesser evil, but evil nonetheless.

So the only other option left is good ol’ hot water. I once tried using them Bru sachets (instantly instant coffee, mix in hot water, add sugar and voila! dishwater ready!), but that didn’t work either. Which brings me back to my original rant – there’s nothing like fresh coffee. And there’s nothing called fresh coffee in some workplaces.

If you’re one of the lucky few who can smell the coffee brewing, sitting right at your desks, count your blessings ‘coz there are a lot of us who do not have that luxury. But ‘us’ are also glad that ‘us’ are no longer coffee addicts, thanks to the omnipresent coffee dispenser.

Now, if only my Mom were here to make me a cuppa! Alas, wishful thinking!
Image Source: That cup of cappuccino scored a full 10 on the droolworthiness scale. So, drool on!
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11 thoughts on “I (broken_heart) Coffee

  1. Droolable totally!!!!!

    Pity you totally!!! I once ordered for a channa puff in my canteen and i swear ill kill myself if u come here and spot a single channa in it!!!But coffee is ok cos a guy makes it…and it is filter coffee too!!! SO does wake us up after the regular drone before the interval!!!

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  2. Atleast you get something called coffee out there in ur office..My coll canteen is pathetic..U can’t set ur foot into the canteen..U got to wade ur way thru (ugh..) food particles inorder to reach the counter to get a token for coffee/watever. And that coffee/watever isn’t worth that sordid sail ๐Ÿ˜

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  3. I dont mind coffee ne time .. bad or good.. i am a cafeholic..i hav tried coffee in all pantries in my work place wit exception of one al r good.. and its been a long time since i had a good cappucino..

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  4. playing the mooosic…. it used to be one of my favs..
    as a mallu, anything the GG sings it must be great.
    GG = Gana Gandharavan – excuse us.

    Talking about the coffee – no powder for me. only milk. But guess what, we are ordering a coffee maker in our office too. I am the boss too…. but the convenience was the key factor. I am looking for alternatives (people who will supply well made coffee/tea).
    Hope.. there should always be hope.

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  5. Coffee? I am die-hard addict. I have 3 kinds of coffee in my house, else I get withdrawl symptoms.

    That bit about Rome reminded me of my european PM, “Europeans add mil to coffee, Indians add coffee to milk” ๐Ÿ˜‰

    First time here, glad to find somebody else who has put the Deathly Hallows countdown clock on their blog ๐Ÿ˜€

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  6. Sharan – Lucky you, to get fresh coffee like that ๐Ÿ˜ฆ n sorry about the channa ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Sanjay – Hola, welcome! This post kinda explains why my blog reminds me of coffee, but I still cant explain the pizza part! ๐Ÿ˜

    Nithya – Yikes! that’s bad. But I wouldn’t know ‘coz I’ve never been in a hostel ๐Ÿ™‚

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  7. Venki – See, one should either be like you (that doesn’t mind how the coffee is) or should hate coffee – that’s the only way one can survive these dispensers! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    CK – Duude! Order a good ol’ coffee maker where you can make good decoction or get a guy who can make it for you – but never never never get that dispenser thingie. Your colleagues will thank you a million times over ๐Ÿ™‚

    Fleiger – Welcome! ๐Ÿ™‚ 3 types eh? I have just one. And I rarely use it so it’s probably gone all hard. And hey, your Deathly Hallows countdown is so much cooler!!! Maybe I’ll do a copy cat ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  8. My mistake! I should’ve known you were not the hostel-dweller by the way you described the canteen ๐Ÿ˜‰ It takes a day sci to feel that ๐Ÿ™‚

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