(I wrote this ages ago – never got around to posting it. Considering what big a chocolate-freak I am, that is a wonder! I’m in the mood for some heavy-duty chocolate right now, hence this post – here’s to ‘Heaven on Earth’ – Chocolat!)
I love chocolates . Who doesn’t eh? You could say I’m a chocoholic. There’s nothing better than chocolate – the rich, creamy, smooth chocolaty feeling..sometimes (ok, most times..er..all the time!), chocolate is the answer to all my troubles. I dedicate this post to chocolate. The second love of my life (don’t get ideas, my husband knows this already, so I’m ok).
* Why not chocolate?
* Scientific studies have proved that chocolate stimulates the happy places of your brain – it does make you happy.
Some things to remember –
* If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
* It’s ok if you don’t share your chocolates. You’re not expected too.
* Do not insult chocolate by worrying about your calorie intake – A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?!
* Keep chocolate on person at all times. It’s like a first-aid kit – you never know when it will come in handy.
* Chocolate should never be an add-on to other foods. Other foods can be add-ons to chocolate.
* If you become rich overnight (filthy rich at that), first buy all the chocolate factories in the world. Then think of that Mercedes or the Crown Jewels.
* Put ‘Eat chocolate’ as the first thing on any ‘To Do’ list – that way you’ll get atleast one thing done right away.
If you’re on a diet, some tips to still continue eating chocolate –
* Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
(I personally don’t prefer this – raisins, cherries, etc are places where chocolate should be!!)
* Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.
* Store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
* Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Problem: Bored, nothing to do.
Solution: Eat chocolate.
P: Tired, feel like crashing but got work to do.
S: Eat chocolate and then crash anyway. The chocolate is to take the guilt away.
P: Got scolded by Mom/Dad/Spouse, feel like crying.
S: Chocolate. Don’t share it with the scolder – it’s only for the scoldee!
P: Late night. No sleep.
S: Chocolate. And then keep awake all night feeling happy and content. Sleep the next morning.
P: Nothing good on TV. Channel surfed till fingers ache. Still nothing.
S: Chocolate. One bite for each hopeless channel. My TV has 88 channels (proper programs, with no static) – go figure!
Bottom line, anything that is called a ‘problem’, has a solution. The solution is chocolate.
Q: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car?
A: Eat it in the parking lot.
Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A: Because no one wants to quit.
Q: I could not eat all my chocolate, what should I do?
A: If you can’t eat all your chocolate, keep it in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?!!
Q: What’s better than chocolate?
A: Chocolate in the hands of a friend/spouse who hates chocolate!
Q: What’s “The Chocoholic 12 Step Program”?
A: The Chocoholic 12 Step Program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!
Unless you’re dead and gone, no reason why you cannot eat chocolate.