Scene: Me calling up my mobile service provider regarding an SMS I received about National Roaming enabled on my account. The last time they enabled roaming automatically and charged me Rs.49 every month for it! So this time I wanted to make sure there was no ‘hidden’ charges for this roaming.
CustomerCare Voice: Welcome to ****** ***, you’re anytime anywhere Customer Service. Our menu options have been changed to serve you better. Please listen CAREFULLY before making your choice.
Me: *smirking* (What the heck! CAREFULLY? Else what will happen? I’ll end up making the wrong choice and actually talk to a person who can help? %#$@ )
Voice: For information about your account, press 1. For information about ******, press 2. For informat…
Me: *presses 1 before the previous thing could complete* (I’m busy!)
Voice: For billing information, press 1. For activating or deactivating a value added service, press 2.
Me: *waiting for option to talk to customer rep, didnt get any, so press 1*
Voice: To activate a service, press 1. To deactivate a service press 2…
Phone: *Ping* ‘Attention, battery low’ displayed on screen
Me: !$#@% *press 9* (It takes like 20,000 years to get to the 9th option, so..jus’ go right ahead and press 9.) *expecting a non-automated voice saying Hi hello*
Voice: If your query is billing related, press 1. If it is…
Phone: *ping ping ping* Sounds like a death knell to me!
Me: *presses 1* (It’s the wrong choice (my query is not billing related)! I didn’t listen ‘CAREFULLY’. What’re you gonna do? Sue me or send me to english class? !$#@)
Lady: Good Morning, this is ABC here, how may I assist you?
Me: Hi ABC, this is Priya calling from XYZ. I just got an SMS saying my National Roaming has been enabled. I wanted to confirm if it’s free or if I’ll be charged for it every month.
Lady: Can I have your phone number please?
Me: Phone number? *thinks: no caller ID!!! O for cryin’ out loud!!* 9999999999
Lady: Hello? Ma’am your voice is breaking up, I can’t hear you properly.
Me: Yeah right, this is your network I’m using – you didn’t know that?
Lady: Ma’am, can you do something about it? I can’t hear you.
Me: What the bl**** heck! YOU do something about it ma’am – you’re the service provider – you provide this network to me! How will I be able to do anything!!
Phone: *piiiiiiiiiiiing* blank screen
Just another day in the life of a ‘customer’.