Kids say – Part II

I just can’t get enough of ’em!

Italics are comments by yours-truly-me. 🙂

Source: Internet

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling! Kids should rule the world, as it would be a laugh a minute for us adults and therefore no time to argue.

Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Me would love to live in a dessert – the more chocolatier the better!

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

So, that’s what a myth is? Hmm..and I thought it had something to do with made-up stories! Silly me!

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a Dramatic decline.

Moral: Marriage and Advice will get you killed. And yeah..it generally happens that after a dude dies, his career is shot.

In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.

Yep, catch the biscuits and Java and have your own coffee party!

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out “Same to you, Brutus.”

I’m not sure if any finger movements came along with that last line.

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don’t really understand. The English and French still have problems.

Yeah..burnt to a steak and rumor has it that she was also baconized 😉

Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen,” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah!” and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

No comments.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.

No comments again.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

Man, isn’t that cool – he was born exactly on his birthday!!!! Iambic, Islamic…tragicomedies, hysterectomies…whatever!

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2 thoughts on “Kids say – Part II

  1. [Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen,” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah!” and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.]

    ROFLLL

    Like

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