Does this happen to you?
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen – “Careful … CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful … CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them! Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?!”
The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”
I can honestly say it does not happen with me – with me as in with my husband and me. He drives really well (touch wood) and I know better than to go around doing side-seat driving (I get yelled at to say the least – fair enough!)..and my husband is not much of a cook so he rarely comes into the kitchen…(** start humming “Un samayal araiyil..”**)
Driving is a pleasure, isn’t it? Especially if you’re not exactly driving but being driven around? 😉 I always had a good time trying to *learn* driving – be it my first cycle (BSA SLR) or my TVS Scooty or Dad’s Maruti 800. The weird thing about me learning to drive is that I never – repeat, never – had accidents when I was actually learning. I had accidents when I was supposed to have learnt it all! You’re right, I am a weird person.
Cycling – I learnt cycling when I’d just completed my 5th grade. Took almost 3 weeks to get it right. We lived in a township kind of place, so traffic was never a problem. My first accident was with, believe it or not, a cow. Yes, I cycled INTO the poor thing (which was standing in the middle of the road btw) and I fell down and scraped my knee. I did not know much about the braking system in 2 wheelers then (brake irukkune theriyaadhu! bayangara loosu appo – loosu brake illa, naan…hee hee). I never saw the poor cow after that (obviously, vaazhkaila pakkara ovvoru maadum nyabagam irukkuma! translate – how the heck will I remember each and every cow I have seen in my life) – imagine, the cow was too shocked to even think of attacking me back! Well, I was lucky.
With my Scooty – well, I was a bit more responsible by then (or so I said to myself) so it was not that bad. But I did twist my ankle trying to balance the Scooty after swerving to avoid, of all things, a butterfly (pattaampoochi)! Yes, I was that stupid (slighta nut loosu – ippo seri aayidthu, dont worry). I actually thought I was going to hit it – it was right in front of my headlight for god’s sakes! I could have hit it, right? Anyone ready to believe that I saved the life of a beautiful butterfly? No one? Hello? Where is this world coming to??!!
The car was a definite improvement in my learning curve – no major accidents (because car belonged to Dad – if I get it nicked, I know I’d be skinned alive and hung from the ceiling fan) . But there was this one time where a branch on the road (it was like lotsa small branches together) got entangled UNDERNEATH the car and I drove around not knowing that, wondering what the heck was the noise! super-aa community service panninen car oda.. swept the whole colony clean with those stupid branches! Vaazhkaila idhellam sagajamappa! (all in a day’s work – roughly translated)
I don’t drive now (c’mon, I have a husband!) which is good in some aspects. Ok ok, it’s good in most aspects. Agreed, happy? But I always felt that knowing driving takes the pleasure out of being driven around. I cannot look out my window (in other words – sight adichufy) when somebody is driving – my eyes always end up turning towards the windshield of the car and I end up feeling more tensed than the person driving – why? because the brake pedal is not under my foot!! It’s like you dont have any control on where the stupid car is going…it’s a bit like what Chandler says about him not liking puppies/dogs – you don’t know what they are thinking and that does freak one out!
Post longer than usual eh? Wake up sleepy heads! my musings are over…get back to work now..or in most cases, get to work now! 😉
P.S: My posts might contain a bit of Tamil hereafter – I’m kinda missing speaking that language (and my friends..sob sob), so making it up like this! I’ll give translations wherever I can, so…you can either learn the language or just shake your head and read on…sorry, my blog…the usual evil laughter..