Calvin and Susie

Calvin: Do you like being a girl?
Susie: Its gotta be better than the alternative.
Calvin: What’s it like? Is it like being a bug?
Susie: Like a WHAT?
Calvin: I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it.

Calvin: This meeting of the Get Rid Of Slimy Girls club will now come to order. First Tiger Hobbes will read the minutes of our last meeting.
Hobbes: Thank you. (9:30) Meeting called to order. Dictator For Life Calvin proposed resoultion condemning the existence of girls. (9:35) First Tiger Hobbes abstains from vote. Motion fails. (9:36) Patriotism of First Tiger called into question. (9:37) Philosophical discussion. (10:15) Bandages administered. Dictator For Life rebuked for biting.
Calvin: “Is this a great club or what?”
Hobbes: (10:16) Forgot what debate was about. Medals of bravery awarded to all parties.

Calvin: Hello Susie, this is Calvin. I lost our homework assignment. Can you tell me what we were supposed to read for tomorrow?
Susie: Are you sure you’re not calling for some other reason?
Calvin: Why else would I call you?
Susie: Maybe you missed the melodious sound of my voice?
Calvin: WHAT? Are you crazy? All I want is the STUPID assignment!
Susie: First say you missed the melodious sound of my voice.
Calvin: THIS IS BLACKMAIL!!!

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