Kids say – Part II

I just can’t get enough of ’em!

Italics are comments by yours-truly-me. 🙂

Source: Internet

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling! Kids should rule the world, as it would be a laugh a minute for us adults and therefore no time to argue.

Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Me would love to live in a dessert – the more chocolatier the better!

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

So, that’s what a myth is? Hmm..and I thought it had something to do with made-up stories! Silly me!

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a Dramatic decline.

Moral: Marriage and Advice will get you killed. And yeah..it generally happens that after a dude dies, his career is shot.

In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.

Yep, catch the biscuits and Java and have your own coffee party!

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out “Same to you, Brutus.”

I’m not sure if any finger movements came along with that last line.

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don’t really understand. The English and French still have problems.

Yeah..burnt to a steak and rumor has it that she was also baconized 😉

Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen,” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah!” and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

No comments.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.

No comments again.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

Man, isn’t that cool – he was born exactly on his birthday!!!! Iambic, Islamic…tragicomedies, hysterectomies…whatever!

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Rang Diya Basanti!

Chandrashekar Azad.
Bhagat Singh.
Ashfaqulla Khan.
Rajguru.
Durga Bhabhi.
Ramprasad Bismil.

Ring a bell? Well, watch ‘Rang De Basanti’ and these will keep ringing in your ears till you make a conscious effort to forget it. And trust me, if there is one thing you cannot forget, it is the way these young people laid down their lives for their country. These guys were only 23 when they became martyrs – 23, that’s 2 years younger than me! And when that strikes you, there is nothing you can do to stop the tears that well up in your eyes or swallow the lump that has formed in your throat.

My Republic Day saw me 1. proud to be an Indian – more proud than I had ever been and 2. guilty, that I’m doing nothing for my country other than find faults with it. You might think I’m going all patriotic and sentimental about the whole thing, but if you watch this movie, you will understand why I’m saying whatever I’m saying.

Spoilers – Not so much, just character descriptions. Plot not revealed, don’t worry. So..your call!

The movie is about 6 youngsters who wake up one fine day (thanks to a British documentary film maker, Sue) to realize that their countrymen have become complacent about the problems in India and decide to do something about it. The parallels between these guys and the 6 freedom fighters is portrayed beautifully in the movie. The film-maker, Sue, hires these guys to play the roles of the freedom fighters in her documentary. How the characters affect these carefree young people to rise and do something forms the rest of the movie.

Aamir is brilliant (as usual) as the punjab-da-puttar DJ. Sharman Joshi (as Sukhi) is fun-incarnate – perenially drunk and slurring, it’s a treat to hear him slur through the names of his friends. Soha Ali Khan (hubbie likes her a lot a lot a lot..hee hee..good enough reason for me to hate her, eh?) knows how to act (not to mention her dress sense). Period. Atul Kulkarni (as Laxman) is..well, I got no words for this guy man. He was awesome! Kunal Kapoor (as Aslam) rocks! He’s the coolest looking of the lot..and when he smiles..well, his smile is good. ** evil grin **

And I’m keeping the best for the last – ** start drumbeats ** Siddharth (as Karan Singhania)!! ** end drumbeats ** Somebody please tell me how this guy got so brilliant!!!! He was cute in ‘Ayudha Ezhuthu’, cuter in ‘Chukkallo Chandrudu’, but man, he is hot hot hot in RDB!

The movie was very very very good. I loved it. It’s different (well, almost.. has a bit of Hindi-movie illogical things too, but not so much) and its colorful, vibrant..and it will make you wanna shout ‘Jai Hind’ over and over again! After the movie ended, a bunch o’ guys at the back started shouting ‘Inquilab Zindabad’ – so you can imagine!

And what stayed with me and is still on my mind are Bismil’s words (spoken by Atul Kulkarni) –

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamare dil mein hai
Dekhna hai zor kitna bazuen qatil mein hai.

Translated:
I have the zeal of valour in my heart
Let us see how strong are the arms of the enemies/killers.

And ofcourse, there’s nothing like shouting ‘Vande Mataram’ at the top of your voice – for your country and the your people who died so you could be free in your own country. To be completely honest, if I had seen this movie when I was 18, I would have atleast given IAS a shot before becoming a god-forsaken software engineer. Maybe I still can…

Problem Solving


Sorry about the size folks – Flickr wouldn’t let me login, so this is the max I can do! You can consider it an eye-checkup – if you can read it, good, you dont need glasses! Meanwhile, think of a good explanation to give to all those people who’re going to ask you why your head is glued to the monitor.

Happy Hyderabadi

The AICC Plenary session is here!!!! I’m not a supporter of the Congress party, neither am I into politics even an eensy-weensy bit..but still, the AICC Plenary is here!!!! What’s making me so happy about it? Well, how about the fact that it is happening in Happy Hyderabad! Yep, that’s the term coined by the Muncipal Corp of Hyd (MCH) these days – Happy Hyderabad. Weird isn’t it? Hmph, what else can you expect out of these guys anyway..they should make ‘Happy Hyderabadi’ their motto, that would be more fun.

Coming back..why am I happy about it? For one, we got neeeeat roads man! And we not only got roads (pothole-free, 6 lane mind you) we also got dividers overnight! Not just any dividers, we got dividers with grass and plants in them!!!!!! Plants with flowers!!! How cool is that??!!! And the flowers are all in full bloom!! Beat that if you can, yeh US-living people! (Ok, ok, got carried away there..I know you US-living people can beat the crap outta that one – but just humor me, would ya, and accept that what’s happened in Hyd is really really cool and a one-in-the-world kinda thing..please, pretty please?)

And we had the first tension-free ride to office today after a long time. We were waiting at a traffic signal and just happened to look out the window and guess what my hubbie saw? A guy in jeans and T-shirt (crappy one at that) with an automatic in his hand!!! He was standing there, gun in hand, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world to do! And the biggest wonder of ’em all – not one person thought of jumping a red signal today – you wouldn’t dare right? What if the guy with the automatic didn’t like you doing it? You would be kinda dead..so why push it..

You guys will not believe what the latest thing in Hyd is these days – gates! That’s right, huge cardboard gates for regular roads (something like the ‘Welcome Shri. so and so’ gates that come up on the roads when some big shot is visiting). And the best part is the names – we have ‘Smt. Sonia Gandhi Gate’, ‘Shri. William Weddernburn Gate’ (this chap is a Knight, but no ‘Sir’ – it got translated to Shri – well, it happens only in India!), ‘Shri S.D.Sharma Gate’…in short gates named after every President the AICC has ever had (or so I think). It’s mildly funny though.

Whatever be it, I’m a happy hyderabadi these days – the roads are good, the traffic is under control (with gun-trotting policemen – every junction has a min of 4 traffic policemen) and the people seem to be enjoying the fact that once in a while, all roads do lead to Hyderabad! All good roads that is 😉

Goodbye Metros, Hello there Hyderabad! 🙂

Reality continues to ruin my life

CRASH!! BANG!! BOOM!! THUD!!!

Yep, that’s me, falling back into reality from a wonderful sojourn into the realms of pure bliss – in english, that would mean I just came out of a day dream. I do that a lot you know, doesn’t cost a dime but totally worth all the time wasted. Reminds me of Fred and George Weasley’s ‘Patented Daydream Charms’ – “One simple incantation and you will enter a top-quality, highly realistic, thirty-minute daydream, easy to fit into the average school lesson and virtually undetectable (side effects include vacant expression and minor drooling). Not for sale to under-sixteens. “. As always, Harry Potter rocks! (still not out of the HP hangover folks – it’s one long intoxication, for want of a better word!). ‘Nuff said about HP eh? Ok Ok..by popular demand..will try to refrain from any references to Harry Potter in this post…this post only, mind you.

So..where was I? Oh yeah, daydreams..my post is not about that anyway, so what the heck!

Reality continues to ruin my life – exactly like Calvin says. Today’s reality – another weekend is upon us and I still have no plans! You will not believe, there are 13 movies running at a very popular Multiplex and not one, I repeat, not one is worth watching! Well, that is if you exclude the Goblet of Fire…but honestly, I wouldn’t watch that again either – why? Read this. Coming back to reality (again??!!), people seem to be doing so many interesting things with their lives and here I am cribbing about my weekend plans to a bunch of people I haven’t even met or don’t even know the last names of! No offence amici, but that is the truth, isn’t it? (You dont have to take the trouble of leaving your last names as comments folks – I didn’t mean it in that way!)

What you’re thinking now is right – I am one cranky woman right now, bad for you!

It’s not that there is a dearth of fun stuff where I live, just that I never seem to have the time or the patience to actually plan something out and then, most important, execute it! I love procrastination and I’m lazy – now, that is one combination you shouldn’t be having.

Just noticed some good things in today’s reality –

1. New profiles up in ‘Interesting people in Yahoo! 360’
2. The cute calendar that comes up in your 360 blog – well, it now matches the time of posting. Earlier it used to display based on PST, not IST – so my posts and dates were not in sync. Now they are!
3. Again in the calendar – point the mouse at a date and it displays a tip text kinda thing with the post name! Now, that’s a useful thing for someone like me (who reads and re-reads her own posts – yes, I am that crazy).
4. For all those people using counters – Yahoo! is giving you a Visitor Stats feature! Check out Yahoo! 360 News (that teensy weensy link at the top of your 360 blog!)

Somehow, small changes in today’s monotony seems to have cheered me up enough to get on with my ‘official’ work..I’m an easy girl to please, just give me the best. 🙂