Test paper question: What happened in Concord in 1775?
Calvin (on anwer paper): Let’s be honest. You’re asking me about Concord? I rely on the bus driver to find my own house from here. Concord could be on Neptune for all I know. And what happened 220 years ago? I’m a kid. I don’t know what’s going on NOW. I don’t have a shred of context for any of this. It’s hopeless, Miss Wormwood, hopeless.
Calvin (aloud): We both try to demoralize each other! 🙂
Test paper question: Explain Newton’s first law of motion in your own words.
Calvin (on answer paper): Yakka Foob Mog. Grug Pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.
Calvin (aloud): I love loopholes.
Test paper question: What important event took place on December 16, 1773?
Calvin (on answer paper): I do not believe in linear time. There is no past and future: all is one, and existence in the temporal sense is illusory. This question, therefore, is meaningless and impossible to answer.
Calvin (aloud): When in doubt, deny all terms and definitions.