Given that I have nothing interesting to write about, I’ll do the next best thing – write completely uninteresting useless things. If I can waste some precious minutes of my life, it’s only fair that the rest of the world does too.

Most human beings, with the exception of certain specimens who I know to have nothing but clay on the top part of their anatomy, have brains. Inside this amazing organ are little thought processes that sometimes can become one huge thought process finally dissipating away to just a thought or one huge thought process that manifests itself as a related action with serious (or radioactive, as the case may be) repurcussions to the sustained well-being of this planet.

If you understood the last sentence, tell me. If you didn’t, well, that’s two of us.

This is how a typical ‘thought’ progresses in yours truly’s brain (enough proof that I have one and it’s in somewhat good condition) -

“Is that my phone ringing? No, my phone is right here and I don’t see it ring. Cool, I have a Nokia 5800. But I spent 19k on this! The horror! Especially when Dad had a similar one that we wanted to give to me! What would Dad be doing now? Office, ofcourse. Wonder what it feels like to be GM/IC. All that travel! I wish he slows down a bit. Mom would certainly be happy. That reminds me, gotta watch ‘Thirumathi Selvam’ and ‘Mogali Rekulu’ today – Friday is when the story actually moves forward. Stupid fellows changed the actor for Selvaswamy, I liked the first one better. Should ask Grandma if she’s still onto that ‘Jai Shri Krishna’ horror that’s on at 7 – will the real Lord Krishna please stand up and smack the ’Little Krishna’ on this show? We can’t even make out what language he’s speaking in!  Whatever happened to the Abhi female on Kolangal – the serial’s been on for so long, she actually had a kid in between. I miss eating dinner to the sound of Tamil serials. Wonder what Mom made for dinner today, should call up and ask her. Nokia 5800. 19k. All because of my husband. Convinced me that I deserve a new phone atleast once in my life. Which reminds me, I should never take the phones my BIL gives out when he comes home. There’s a reason why he’s giving it away!!! D’uh me is too thrilled to care and then it serves me right. That Samsung phone was a nightmare. But the Samsung TV is good – remind me not to tell my husband that, given that I fought tooth and nail to not buy the TV and instead ‘invest’ the money. ~eyes wander and land on the bottom right corner of the screen~ 6:12pm on a Friday evening. And here I am safe in office, waiting to be taken home. What a life! I should get back to Umberto Eco. “

If you think you had a tough time reading that, imagine me – thinking all that! No wonder I’m losing it.

Goodnight. Peace be with you.

Amen.

P.S: Please feel free to consider a Monday-blues post. I seem to live in a parallel universe where Friday is Monday. And Monday is still Monday.

Wondering where I vanished to? Even if you didn’t, I’m going to give you the pleasure of knowing anyway.

Believe it or not, I was waiting for a creative bolt of thunder to hit my severely-blogger’s-block-affected brain and give me one good line to ring in my 300th post on Thought Process. Yes, yes, that’s the big three oh oh.

The thunder gods (not to mention the gods of creativity) aren’t in the mood apparently.

So here it is. My 300th post. Nonsense as usual. But look for the teensy weensy tag on this post that reads ‘milestones’, for this is how far I have come.

From posting everyday to posting once a month to posting once in a blue moon.

From writing mundane, absolutely boring things to writing moderately boring things to writing nothing at all for the last few months.

From Yahoo 360 to Blogger to WordPress.

From November, 2005 to October, 2009.

Here’s to many more of the moderately boring and a lot less of the absolutely boring. 

Boring or not, here’s to more posting on TP.

And to you all, dearly beloveds, thank you for sticking by TP for this long.  Through all the different kinds of nonsense and some-sense that I’ve been churning out and more importantly, through all these dormant months. And a bigger thank you for dropping by now, at the right time!

Monday blues and book review programming will start shortly. You can also expect some profound philosophical posts (yes yes, bear with me) as I try to come to terms with the curveballs that life throws our way once in a while.  I’ll have mercy on you nice people and try to keep it short – keyword in this sentence being ‘try’.

So long! And thanks for all the fish!

Seriously, I have no clue. All I know is if I don’t update, then the sky will fall on my head and crush me – thereby ending my life (rather, what’s left of it). Although I can show you atleast a 1000 people who would gladly have it that way, I still am important to this bunch of folks called family and friends. For their sake, I shall update this blog.

Easier said than done. So I use some photos to ‘inspire’ meself. What photos? Ofcourse the ones I took when I went to UK! Duh, don’t you know me at all?!!

In no particular order -

This one’s the spooky abbey at Whitby, England. Remember Whitby? The place in England were Count Dracula landed? No? You didn’t read Bram Stoker’s Dracula? Shame on you. Go away.

Next one is something we read about in textbooks. Say hello to the Prime Meridian of the world, at Greenwich, England -

It’s found at the Royal Observatory, in Greenwich which true to what I read in my textbooks, is a small village type place with cobbled streets and little cafes and a big McDonalds right outside the tube station (Cutty Sark, if you wondered). They also have a maritime museum there and it was pretty awesome to see how maritime navigation and the equipments have evolved over time. Pity I wasn’t the sea-faring kind of person.

Next in the list of inspiring photos is the Diana-Dodi Memorial in London.  With the wine glass that she used and the diamond ring that he gave to her. Who would dare build a memorial linking the late Princess to Dodi Al-Fayed, that too in London?

Dodi Al-Fayed’s dad, ofcourse. It helps if you’re filthy rich and own Harrods by the way. Again, pity I wasn’t the shopaholic kind of person. Neither was I rolling in money. So I just convinced myself that Harrods was actually a museum that shows how rich people live and what sort of linen and cutlery and fancy items they own. Helped.

Up next, Trafalgar Square, London. With the frozen fountain.

This photo me took. Yay me. (One of the few times one was trusted with the brand new camera by the camera’s custodian and sworn protector.)

And so we bid adieu to England and enter Scotland. Oh, did I not mention I’d been to Scotland?

The photo above is a view of Edinburgh city from the Edinburgh castle. Fantastically beautiful place, Scotland is. And the people were such a nice bunch (after the stiff-as-cardboard English peeps) and full of humor – their sole aim in life seemed to be having maximum fun with maximum scotch whiskey. Good aim in life, I should say.

Above photo me took! View from cannon hole of the castle.

We took a tour to the Scottish Highlands (the mountains to the north) and the journey was amazing. The rolling moutains, some with snowy caps and the famous Highland cows! (The Scots call it ‘Haidy Coo’ – for hairy cow). One of a kind trip – don’t ever pass up on it if you get a chance. Totally worth visiting.

And now for the very famous, Loch Ness. Loch is Scottish for Lake and Ness is the name of the lake. The monster living in this lake, therefore, is Nessie! How cute. (Picture below taken on a cruise on Loch Ness, trying to spot Nessie). There’s also a Loch Oich (the ‘ch’ is pronounced as ‘kh’, with a German-y twist to it) and the monster in this one is Oichy! Weirdly enough, there’s also Loch Lochy which in English would be Lake Lakey! (Info courtesy our tour guide.)

They have lots of other lakes, all the way up to Inverness. The tour guide (also our bus driver) was this really fun guy, 100% Scottish and full of that typical Scottish perspective on anything in life and I think one of the reasons why that trip ended up being so good was because of his commentary. His knowledge of Scottish history was astounding and thoroughly interesting. You gotta be there to believe it!

And now we say tata to the UK and enter France! Well, it’s just Paris actually and this small village on the outskirts called Avon Fontainebleau – but hey, I’ve been to France now, so I’ll just say France, thank you very much.

Pardon the picture quality, but it was taken from a moving cruise-boat on the Seine during those 10 minutes when the Eiffel is all glittery glitter. Happens every top of the hour apparently and we were fortunate enough to catch it when we were very near it.

Like all tourists, we went up to the first and second landings on the tower for the absolutely picturesque view from the top. And the top-most landing (upto which tourists are allowed) has this information deck that points out the landmarks one is looking at in that direction, and the distance to the cities that come in our line of sight. How could I miss Hyderabad! Also note how Chennai is Madras and not Chennai

Up next is Basilique du Sacré-Cœur du Montmarte, Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Montmarte. Beautiful church, very traditional service (it was all French and we still sang along! Go figure) and well, beyond description actually. Worth the long ride on the tube from the city hub to this place.

On the way back from the basilica, we took a quick trip to what seemed to be a ultra-decorated shopping mall. Galeries Lafayette. The Harrods of Paris, in my opinion. My jaw dropped at the huge christmas tree in the centre of the mall – all of 4 stories high with the most christmasy decorations!

As always we couldn’t buy a thing ‘coz it was all so darn expensive. Well, another museum about the rich and famous, me thought.

Before we went around the usual tourist-y places in Paris, we did a quick run on Avon Fontainebleau to check out the castle used by the French kings and even Napolean. Huuuuuge castle, FYI!

Took us hours to get through all the rooms which they have maintained with all the royal furniture and furnishings so one can get a feel of royal life! The tapestries were of silk and the ceilings were embellished in gold. No wonder everyone wants to be a king!

Back to Paris and back to the big guns – Musee du Louvre (Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa and Mona Lisa), Cathedrale Notre Dame de Paris and ofcourse, Champs Elysees by night!

The Notre Dame cathedral -

And finally, the Champs Elysees -

A month back when I was in London, I yearned for a snowfall – well, mostly ‘coz I’ve never seen one (sad, I know – but I’m a South Indian, the only ice I see is in the freezer of my refrigerator). But no, the weather gods were not so merciful and gave me nice & sunny days (much to the joy of the locals who’ll do anything for a sunny day). So it used to be like this -

And you know what’s happening now? No? Well, the worst snow storm in 18 years, that’s what! So this is what it looks like now and I’m here in Hyderabad thinking why the heck I’m not there in London. Or why the heck doesn’t it snow like this in Hyderabad. Give me one good reason why and I don’t want the Equator and closer to the Sun crap, I need a better reason. Give.

WTH!

And with absolutely no pains whatsover, I give you a 1000 words -

I've got the whole tower.. in my hand!

P.S: Photo courtesy – my husband. And ofcourse, the gem of a camera he bought recently – 1000+ photos in a month, no sweat!

[Date: 15 December, 2008]

Back to my tryst with London! Now before reading further, please know that this travelogue is more for me as a record of my travel than for the general public as a tour-guide of London. So if you see me gushing over silly things – well, that’s ‘coz they are the things that I’d like to be reminded of when I read these posts in, say, 10 years (by which time I think WordPress will cease to be a free-service!). If you have wandered here looking for information on London, I would suggest you check on some travel sites ‘coz this blog here is about Me, Me and Other Me.

Right, so I’ve been here a week now and the open-mouthed wonderous moments still happen. Last night it happened when I saw this house decorated for Christmas, with the fairy lights and tree and a huge Santa Claus. The other European city that I’ve been to during Christmas season was Rome and I definitely felt more cheer in the air there than I feel here.  I don’t know why!

London Eye, view from the Thames cruise

Sunday saw us at the Tower Hill tube station, getting ready to start the tour of the big places, ie. Tower bridge, London bridge and London Eye. It was freezing, as usual but the excitement at finally seeing all the monuments one hears about was a huge help in overcoming the cold. We had a light snack of Fish n Chips (‘coz I wanted traditional English stuff!) and an almond croissant (heaven, to say the least) and set sail on a ferry that would take us on a cruise on the Thames. All the window seats on the ferry inside were taken, so we did the next best stupid thing – go to the roof, the open air seating area. The fact that the seats were made of metal and were wet didn’t help much with my already frozen backside. But the human body can do wonders if the mind really wants it to. So there we were, on the ferry, taking in the sites and clicking the occasional photos. There was one point during the cruise were one could see all 3 structures – London Eye, Big Ben and the Parliament House-Westminster Abbey – in the same frame – stupendous beyond reasonable levels!

London skyline view, from the Eye

We got off at the London Eye  pier and got tickets for the 30 min ride on the giant ferris wheel. There was also an offer going on where we could get tickets for Madame Tussaud’s at a discounted price if we bought them along with the tickets to the Eye – the tickets were valid for a month and we could visit Tussaud’s anytime. Wonderful – one stone, two mangoes types! Apparently, such offers are usually available for most sight-seeing places and is a good save on time and money.

Big Ben and the Parliament house, day view from the Eye

Night view of Big Ben and the Parliament houses

The London Eye. Hmm, where do I begin! We did this first before seeing anything else in London,  so it became like a preview for the rest of London. And guess what? We were there by around 5pm, so lucky us, our way up the wheel was a daytime view of the city and by the time we reached the top and began the descent, night had fallen and we got a night view of the city! Who would’ve thunk!! A teensy weensy tip to keep in mind. The view from the wheel was mind-blowing as expected. At one point, we had a distant view of a triangular shaped object and we actually thought that was the Eiffel Tower. We still don’t know what it was.  Yeah well, like it matters.

Thames, view from the Eye

Once the trip on the wheel got over, we wandered around the area and it was like some carnival going on. Lots of shops selling trinkets, souvenirs and most importantly, food! Dutch mini-pancakes (with Nutella!!), pretzels, mulled wine, lots of German stuff (read pork, beef, etc. so we didn’t look that side much) and candies of all shapes, sizes and colors. A small note of caution: most often than not, candies don’t taste as good as they look, so watch out.  Safer bet would be to pick up chocolate colored ones and stay away from yellows and whites (well, my experience – both the colors tasted like crap).

Since it’s winter now, its fully dark by around 6pm and gets terribly cold. So we trundled to the nearest Tube station (I forget which) and took our train back home (yep, home it was!). We had dinner at this little Srilankan place called Hopper Hut and it was amazing – tapioca, chicken, fish, ridge-gourd curry, cashew-peas curry – divine for a palate that hadn’t had much of Asian food the last few days. I know it’s sounds weird when I say I came all this way to London and I still ate Indian food, but you know what? Once in a while, one does get sick and tired of croissants, donuts and muffins. And pancakes, toast and eggs.  Really, nothing like good ol’ rice and curd with a good pickle on the side.

Home was warm and cozy and I realized how the phrase ‘warmth of home and hearth’ came into being – no big deal in Souht India perhaps since most times home is cooler than outside, but here? Oh here, home is warm and homey!

View from the kitchen window of our apartment

View of the backyard from the bedroom window

And the moment I took off my shoes, I realized my feet were numb from the cold (this, inspite of woolen socks and a good robust pair of Reeboks). And as the numbness starting going off, the pains started! Now would be a good time to mention that I’m not much of a walking person in India, so all the walking here took its toll looks like. But hey, the good news? One gets used to it and learns to ignore the pain and keep walkin!

Next post, Paris!

If you haven’t watched it already, do it now! It’s an amazing movie and that pretty much sums up everything. I don’t know when it was released, I don’t know if it was released in India or not, I don’t know if the Director is a well-known guy, I don’t know who the actor is…in short, I don’t know squat about the movie as such but I just saw it and it blew my mind.

I won’t ruin it for you people with my ‘review’.

Regular London programming will resume from next post.

When my husband told me that it’s always overcast and/or drizzling rain in London, I thought he was exaggerating. Well, it wasn’t exaggeration people. It IS always overcast, if not raining. Of the time I’ve spent here, I can count the number of times I saw the blue of the sky or seen the sunlight hit the rooftops. Ohmygod, it’s such a gloom-fest weatherwise! Oh, the number of times I saw sunlight so far? Twice. In 4 days.

But enough cribbing about the weather. I think one gets used to it in a while and learns to ignore it and also make the most of it when it isn’t raining. So, here I am! In London.  So far, it’s been absolutely amazing. This is my first time in the UK and I kinda like it. It’s cold, yes, but if you have around 4 or 5 layers of warm clothes on you, you’re all set.

My most unforgettable experience so far has been the Underground rail transport system. Oh. My. God. If I can get even 50% of this kind of service in Hyderabad, I’ll kiss my car goodbye. The Tube is so awesome, it’s close to infallible! Ofcourse, if one hasn’t been here a while it’s a wee bit of a challenge to get to know the lines and the directions but it’s easy after the initial few mistakes. Like any first-timer in the Tube, my eyes never left the map on the walls of the train – what station is next, how many more stops to ‘our’ station, repeating the station name after the announcer – you’d think I was 8 going on my first train trip! If it weren’t for the fact that my husband actually found my behavior amusing, he would’ve downright asked me shut the hell up. Well, I don’t care anyway. I’m a pro now at navigating the Tube, hah! But if I were you, I wouldn’t bet my life on it though.

Since I’m a tourist here (though the spouse is here on work), we did typical tourist-y things so far. Which interestingly enough included a 3 hour stop at the neighborhood 24/7 supermarket, Asda. 3 hours, I kid you not. I felt like a kid at Disneyland, for cryin’ out loud! It was mind-bogglingly out of this world! After buying every frozen food known to mankind (since the kitchen setup in the apartment is virtually non-existent, and the only thing we used was the microwave), we trundled home laden with my loot. Life never felt better.

Though most things about this trip have been absolutely spiffing (yes yes, one is practising the ‘other’ English just for the heck of it), one thing I don’t like so much is the getting-ready-to-go-out bit. I have one set of going-out clothes and thermal wear on, a sweater on top, a woolen stole around my neck, a pair of gloves and then the rough-n-tough woolen jacket. And then the monkey-cap-thingie. And my trusted chapstick and ear-plugs. And the woollen socks and shoes (goodbye to the times of wearing the first pair of sandals you see and walking out the door in India). The worst part? Inspite of all this, I’m a frozen block of ice by the time we reach the Tube station, a mere 5 minute walk from the apartment. So much for wearing protective gear against the cold. What nonsense!

Tomorrow’s post will be about the London Eye. And how I was on the verge of hypothermia sitting on the open terrace of the ferry that took us on a Thames cruise. Interesting it was, not to mention freezing. I lived to tell the tale, evidently.

The weather is as gloomy as it can get. Rain is in the offing. It has been for the last 2 days, and maybe it does rain at night – I wouldn’t know. It’s been 2 days since I saw the Sun, 2 whole days since the touch of sunshine on the barren trees and autumn-hinged bushes.  The sun, here, is just an entity that must exist somewhere above for there is a day and a night and that’s pretty much it. One doesn’t have to see the sun to know it’s there!

I see the housetops from my room and it looks like it’s taken straight out of a fairy tale, perhaps it’s made of gingerbread! It’s 7 in the morning and the street lights are still on for it’s still too dark to be morning. I can’t see past my neighbour’s house, the fog is everywhere! The little courtyard with the defunct fountain has a thin layer of mist dancing on it. I can see a bird flopping down beside the fountain, on the green lawn and I wonder what bird it is. It looks like a mynah, with its yellow little beak and the urgent skips and hops, but I’m no ornithologist!

See, the thing is, I don’t know what bird it is. Just like I don’t know what tree it is that’s still green while the rest around it are brown. I don’t know what bush it is that’s pale golden and rusty brown, or what car it is that’s parked right by my window.  I can’t say what time it is just by looking outside!

I don’t know ‘coz I’m not at home. This place, this isn’t home. But if home is where the heart is, then yes, this is home for now. For the next one month.

London. Of the Bridge, the Eye and the Big Ben. Of royalty and chivalry. Of suppers and teas, of cucumber sandwiches and fish ‘n chips. As old as an Empire that once ruled the world, as modern as the most used most stupendous system of rail transportation that I have ever known.

Thereby hangs another travelogue…

And, oh, I went by Buckingham Palace and the Queen says hello!

I think I can restart servers in my sleep. Some more days like this and I can code even when if I’m unconscious. Life has become this slug-fest, from one work-issue to another. I could rant on and bore you with it. And I will. Heh.

What the heck does the title mean? I thought you’d never ask!

Did I mention I’m drowning in work? No? Hmm, imagine that.  Well, FYI, I am. You know how much work I have? I’ll tell you -

- Mt.Everest is no longer the tallest mountain in the world. The pile of work on my head is.

- I look for Ctrl+F when I’m reading trying to read the morning newspaper. And no, The Hindu is not available in PDF format.

- My sleep times are so good, I’d put an owl to shame.

- My wake-up times are so good, I’d put the darn Sun to shame.

- I dream of ./opmnctl shutdown. (If you didn’t get that, well, good for you.)

(If you googled ./opmnctl shutdown, heh heh, gotcha!) (If you didn’t, you should. It’s pretty interesting.)

- I’ve typed Application and database passwords so often, I type them on my personal email account. welcome1 is not a very strong password. Even if it were, it sure is not mine.

- When people start off saying ‘Hey, did you watch this movie…’, I’ve already zoomed past into outer space thinking about the last time I was in a movie theatre. I was there last year. I still remember the popcorn. Well, kind of.

- Monday blues? Not really a problem now ‘coz every effing day is like a Monday.

- I haven’t had weekend plans in ages.

- I haven’t had weekend plans.

- I haven’t had weekends.

So, there ya go. That’s how much work I have. But like every dark stormy cloud has another storm brewing inside, this is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Remember the one that sunk the Titanic? Something like that, only bigger.

Do I dare say I’m back?

Oh, one good thing about this Mt.Everest-y work I have. Got another one for my book of profound sayings (contributions are still welcome. Credits will still not be given) -

“The only thing more scarier than an unresolved issue is an issue that gets resolved by itself.”

I do sincerely hope the above line doesn’t become part of the ‘famous last words’ category.