February 28, 2006

I think I love February -
I just got my salary!
3 days earlier than I would in January.

What’s a pronoun?

I couldn’t resist posting this – read it in the newspaper today and it’s been on my mind ever since. Around 5 people have already asked me why I suddenly start laughing. I said ‘Nothing’, but I know they don’t believe me. It’s that look you give when you see a nut.

Like I said, I saw this in the paper today (The Hindu, Metro Plus supplement) and I first thought of just putting the dialogues without the image. Then I thought I’d try my luck with Google – searched for ‘Calvin pronoun’ and this was the third search result. I think Google can read minds.

One click led to another and I found a treasure trove of such strips!! So…

Say hello to Moe everyone – this is his first time on my blog. Moe is the prototypical bully character in Calvin & Hobbes, “a six-year-old who shaves” who is always shoving Calvin against walls, demanding his lunch money and calling him “Twinky”. Moe is the only regular character who speaks in an unusual font: his (frequently monosyllabic) dialogue is shown in crude, lower-case letters. Watterson describes Moe as “every jerk I’ve ever known”. (Source: Wikipedia )

I like the name ‘Twinky’ – LOL!

Now where did that bread go after all?! Weird!

Image Source: Internet

To Monday

Oh! how I wish I had the flu
To miss office on a Monday blue.
Jealous of my neighbor – the housewife unseen,
And so I became a monster green.
Yellow it is, the day of Woden -
Two more to go, two have been trodden.

Thirsty for red, but I only get orange.
Now isn’t it a pity! Nothing rhymes with orange.
Red as in fun, red as in Fridays
Red as in the last of all the weekdays

Let’s go to the movies, let’s have some fun,
It’s the day of Saturn, all said and done.
God rested on Sunday and so will I,
It will be Monday again and all I can do is sigh!

Oh poor Monday, what did you do?
To be called a day so blue!
Laugh on, Friday! It won’t last long -
If I work on a Saturday – like Thursday, you’ll jus’ tag along!

No other day has feelings so true
Like my dear Monday, oh so blue!
I won’t curse you, will find no fault
For my first poem came from your vault!

Phew! Finally. I agree it’s nothing compared to masterpieces by other fellow bloggers, but hey, I have to start somewhere right? And my thoughts about Monday have undergone a change – I haven’t started loving it, but I think I have found a soft spot for it after all!

Looks like Monday brings out the budding poet in me! Weird!

Particles, Jottings, Sparks

My friends find it weird that I read poetry like I read novels. I still haven’t found an answer to give to them as to why I do that. Maybe my incapacity to write one makes me read ‘em. Yeah, I think that’s the reason.

I was reading from ‘Particles, Jottings, Sparks’ – a collection of brief poems of Rabindranath Tagore. And it has me spell-bound. Some verses are my favorites – I keep reading them over and over again. To me, it gives a whole new perspective to everyday things and it’s a whole new joy altogether when these lines just pop up into my head when I see a sunset or the moon!

Some ‘particles’ -

Let’s shut the door to block out sin!
“Then how”, says Truth, “shall I get in?”

Mud, you sully everyone’s purity.
But doesn’t that simplly make YOU dirty?

Weeping at night won’t bring back the sun,
And it makes the light of the stars seem vain.

Work and rest belong to each other -
Like eye and eyelid linked together.

Some ‘Jottings’ -

God desires to wear
A garland made by mankind;
Which is why his own basket of flowers
Is left in the lap of the soil
For us to find.

In my thorns, my errors lie,
Not in my flowers.
Let the thorns, my darling, be mine:
The flowers are yours.

Those flowers of dawn that have gone,
Deserting the day’s light,
At dusk come back again,
Dressed as the stars of the night.

Let go of what must go!
It will cause you hurt
If you do not open the door
To let it out.

And some ‘Sparks’ -

A sunflower:
Earth’s picture
Of the rising sun.
Not fully pleased,
Picture erased,
With a new sunflower
Earth tries again.

With the past’s pen in my hand
I write my name on the future.
Superimposed are the signatures
Of later writers.
In Time’s notebook the muddle
Of old and new combined:
A ceaseless scribble.

You might be wondering why I made a blog post out of this. I’ve always seen my blog as a bookmark to the things in my life that I want to go back and read about. Yeah, the floods too For the truly interested, poetry gives a lot of peace. Those moments when I’m reading them, there’s nothing else on my mind. It’s like pin-drop silence in my mind (which is otherwise a cacophony of noises!) with nothing but the poem reverberating through it. That, folks, has to be felt, not read about.

Floods

I flooded my apartment today. Seriously. I’m not kidding. There was toe-deep water in the hall, the dining hall, the guest bedroom and the entrance of the master bedroom. My cleaning lady had left already so guess who did the water works? Yours truly, ofcourse.

If you’d care to listen, let me tell you how it happened -

Saturday, in my home, is the day of the washing machine. I have a fully automatic, front loading washing machine (white color, if you must ask) – seems it was bought to make my work easier. Yeah right.

I put all the clothes inside the machine. Next, I plugged in the washing machine. I then connected the inlet pipe to the tap (we do not have a permanent connection for the inlet) and turned the tap on – water will start gushing into the machine the moment I turn it on. Now, this is where you should pay attention, ‘coz apparently, I did not. The outlet pipe has to be at a height of atleast 2 ft from the level of the washing machine, so I generally place it inside the wash basin. Generally I do. Today I did not. I went ahead and added the washing powder (Surf Excelmatic – stop asking irrelevant questions! Oh wait, this is totally relevant – wait and see) and set the appropriate wash cycle. I switched the machine on and hit the ‘Start’ button. And I went into the kitchen to check on the cauliflower curry.

Time elapsed: 3 minutes. By now, I should have heard the rumble of the clothes tumble. I did not and I didn’t notice it either. Stirred the curry and decided to see whats on TV – enter dining hall and I heard something synchronous with my steps – splat splat..spl-aa-t! Water water everywhere and no, you wouldn’t want to drink it. Since the outlet was still on the floor, all the water entering the washing machine simply went out the outlet! Rushed to the washing machine (almost falling in the process) and switched it off, realized the outlet pipe issue and yanked it from behind the machine and pushed it into the wash basin! Phew! Close!

It wasn’t close. It was way beyond close. I walked into the guest bedroom and saw that the water had reached the corner diagonally opposite to the door – which means the entire room was flooded. Not just any water mind you – Surf Excelmatic water! The one where all you have to do is place your foot lightly and let you body go – and see yourself win the figure skating championship at the Torino Winter Olympics. It was not as bad in the hall – just one long strip from the main door till the dining hall entrance. The dining hall itself was half flooded. Thankfully, my teak-wood dining table was spared.

After cursing myself and the washing machine with some choicest expletives, I spent the better part of 2 hours in flood relief measures.

And I almost burnt the cauliflower curry – hey, hold your horses, I said almost! I had the best lunch ever – there’s no better accompaniment to food than hunger.

Wait…

Source: eclectech.co.uk (I think! – I got it from a friend)

Customer Care?

Scene: Me calling up my mobile service provider regarding an SMS I received about National Roaming enabled on my account. The last time they enabled roaming automatically and charged me Rs.49 every month for it! So this time I wanted to make sure there was no ‘hidden’ charges for this roaming.

CustomerCare Voice: Welcome to ****** ***, you’re anytime anywhere Customer Service. Our menu options have been changed to serve you better. Please listen CAREFULLY before making your choice.
Me: *smirking* (What the heck! CAREFULLY? Else what will happen? I’ll end up making the wrong choice and actually talk to a person who can help? %#$@ )
Voice: For information about your account, press 1. For information about ******, press 2. For informat…
Me: *presses 1 before the previous thing could complete* (I’m busy!)
Voice: For billing information, press 1. For activating or deactivating a value added service, press 2.
Me: *waiting for option to talk to customer rep, didnt get any, so press 1*
Voice: To activate a service, press 1. To deactivate a service press 2…
Phone: *Ping* ‘Attention, battery low’ displayed on screen
Me: !$#@% *press 9* (It takes like 20,000 years to get to the 9th option, so..jus’ go right ahead and press 9.) *expecting a non-automated voice saying Hi hello*
Voice: If your query is billing related, press 1. If it is…
Phone: *ping ping ping* Sounds like a death knell to me!
Me: *presses 1* (It’s the wrong choice (my query is not billing related)! I didn’t listen ‘CAREFULLY’. What’re you gonna do? Sue me or send me to english class? !$#@)
Lady: Good Morning, this is ABC here, how may I assist you?
Me: Hi ABC, this is Priya calling from XYZ. I just got an SMS saying my National Roaming has been enabled. I wanted to confirm if it’s free or if I’ll be charged for it every month.
Lady: Can I have your phone number please?
Me: Phone number? *thinks: no caller ID!!! O for cryin’ out loud!!* 9999999999
Lady: Hello? Ma’am your voice is breaking up, I can’t hear you properly.
Me: Yeah right, this is your network I’m using – you didn’t know that?
Lady: Ma’am, can you do something about it? I can’t hear you.
Me: What the bl**** heck! YOU do something about it ma’am – you’re the service provider – you provide this network to me! How will I be able to do anything!!
Phone: *piiiiiiiiiiiing* blank screen

Just another day in the life of a ‘customer’.

‘Lal’olsavam

Alert: If you don’t watch Malayalam movies or if you don’t like Mohanlal, well..sorry you have to leave so soon without readin’ my post, Bye!

Has anyone seen the movie ‘Chandrolsavam’? This is the one where Mohanlal comes in this real cool look (above) and is oh so cute!! I loved the movie, but you should know – I love all his movies. After Rajnikanth, I’m a huge fan of Mohanlal (my husband learnt this the hard way – made him watch ‘Narasimham’ almost 5 times!). I like him for the same reasons I like the Superstar – style, punch dialogues, bigger-than-thou portrayal of the characters..Man, I love movies like ‘Praja’ and my all-time favorite, ‘Narasimham’. I’ve watched it every time it was telecast on any Malayalam channel – close to 8 or 9 times. To the extent, I know some of the dialogues too!

I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said I learnt Malayalam watching Mohanlal’s movies. There’s just so much in it for a fan like me who doesn’t care a rat’s ass about story or logic or all those things which ’smart’ people look for in movies. I want movies where the hero always wins, the heroine or the hero’s mom doesn’t die on us, the villian is always punished in the end..add 2 or 3 good songs in between and a fight scene at the end where there is lotsa style – you got me hooked! I have enough tragedies in my own life and I do not want to see the same on screen, that’s ok right? I’m not paying 150 bucks for a movie that makes me wanna cry – I mean, how lame is that?! You pay, you watch the movie and you cry. Why do people want to do that! You should have guessed by now – I do not like movies like ‘Dil Se’ where the hero is killed along with the heroine! What the heck was that all about!! Why spin the story around 2 people who were anyway going to get killed?

And talking about ‘Chandrolsavam’, been listening to this song all morning! In Chitra’s magical voice (Chandrolsavam)-

Ponmulam thandu moolum…paatil njan kettu ninte…
Hari raaga geetathin…aalapanam…
Pooveyil kodi neeyum…ponnil njan kandu ninte…
Malar meni charthunna…peetambaram…

Ulpoya janmathin…yamunaa tadam thedi…
Thaniye thuzhanjee poy…manthoni njan…
Kadali nilavinte…kalabham thodichente…
Nerukil thalodilee…ninneera njan…
Abhayam…neeye…
Abhayam neeye….aananda chinmayane…

Vanamulla kortheela…naru venna kandeela…
Pakaram tharan onnum….karutiyilla…
Idanenjil neerunna…murivarnna eerappon
Kuzhalayi nilpu nin…priya raadha njan…
Sharanam…neeye…
Sharanam neeye…ghana shyama sundarane.

BTW, any mistakes in the lyrics, don’t blame me. I corrected it as much as I could, the rest is what I got off the internet.

Why this post now? Usual answer – Jus’ like that! In the mood for Mohanlal movies – Ravana Prabhu..Praja..Ustad..Narasimham (3 cheers for this one please).. Thandavam..Natturajavu… Balettan.. and hey, can’t forget Kilukkam that’s one of his older movies, but fun nevertheless.

So..blog vayichchu kazhinjo? Appo ivide okke thanne kaanuvallo alle?

Engi vitto mone dinesha!

Hobbes

What happened first -

What happened next -

Road rash

The other day I had to go to the bank by myself – I say by myself ‘coz I generally have my husband to drive me around (I’m not yet comfortable with our car and the Hyd traffic). The time couldn’t have been better – 7:30PM, that time of the day between evening and night when software engineers (God, I so hate that title!!) like me realize another day has just whizzed past and it’s time to go back to family. And sanity. Right, so I start at 7:30 and lucky for me, got an autorickshaw as soon as I walked out of my apartment.

For readers who haven’t been in/seen an auto (I doubt there would be any, but if you’re one of my ‘international’ readers (??!!), then this would interest you) – it is a 3-wheel contraption that makes more noise and smoke than a bunch of firecrackers but is still the preferred mode of commute in most Indian cities. The fare depends on the whims and fancies of the driver – so does the choice of road/pothole. An auto does not have to follow any traffic rules and it can fit in a gap where even a bicycle can only scrape through (reminds me of the Knight Bus from HP – hey, haven’t made references to HP in a long long time, so I have literally ‘earned’ this reference! Fair enough, right?).

So I took an auto till the bank which unfortunately is on the opposite side of the road from where the auto stopped (which was in front of a bus stop btw). This meant I had to cross the road to get to my destination. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, life is never so simple. If you have been in India, you should know this already – pedestrians are not a class of people. Unlike the US, if a bloke is trying to cross the road, as a person driving a vehicle, you are not obliged to stop and let him pass. You have every right to run over that poor thing or atleast scare him out of his wits so he doesn’t dare try that again.

So, this is how I was: 7:40PM (bank closes at 8 btw), out of the auto and at the bus stop, 7 autos in a line at the bus stop in various stages of motion, a road filled with vehicles all going at a min of 50kmph and beyond all this, my bank. Me, who hasn’t been on the road (leave alone crossing the road) in months! That is when I understood how a foreigner should feel if he/she comes to India. And I’m terribly sorry for them. Crossing a road here is as adventurous as white-water rafting, if not more dangerous. Coming back to my ordeal – every time I took a step forward to cross the road, the auto nearest to me would decide to move 1 ft forward and stop (that means the auto is looking for passengers!) and I would move back ‘coz the auto is moving forward! This happened so often that if someone just saw me, cutting out all the traffic ‘n stuff, it would look like I’m trying to tap dance. Sloppily at that.

That’s when the Gods thought of interfering – the traffic light near the bus stop went to Red – meaning no vehicles on the road I was trying to cross. Yippieee!! So I almost ran across the road (I learnt in my kindergarten to never run when crossing the road) and reached the divider. Unfortunately, the signals in India are so well coordinated that at any given point of time you cannot cross the entire road in one-go. You will have to wait at the divider (even if it doesn’t exist) and do a round of tap dance again. And so I did. This time is was more of step-aerobics ‘coz the divider was at a height from the road. Whatever!

The traffic light went red again – no movement of the vehicles on that bit of road that I’m yet to cross. Vehicles yes, movement, supposedly no. A tap dance later, I get across to find one last hurdle – no footpath. No walking space at all. Tap dance, step-aerobics and now, salsa.

Got to the bank, did my work and called up hubbie to pick me up. I don’t play road rash. I don’t do dancing either.